Seeking Safety Coping Skills, (2024)


Summary of Safe Coping Skills

For more detailed discussion and definitions, scroll down past the summary.


Reach out to someone safe


Carry something positive (poem), or negative (photo of friend who overdosed)


When things go wrong, get out


Never give up


Secrets and lying are at the core of PTSD and substance abuse; honesty heals them


Let yourself cry; it will not last forever


Choose whatever will make you like yourself tomorrow


Healthy eating, hydrate, exercise, practice safe sex, sleep, rest


In any situation, you have choices


Remind yourself what you are living for: children? love? truth? equity?


Make the most of available opportunities


Say “no” to protect yourself


Listen to yourself with respect and care


The most difficult path is invariably the right one


Self-talk helps in difficult times


Create a mental picture that helps you to feel different (remember a safe place)


In slow motion, notice the exact moment when you chose a substance


If overwhelmed, go slower; if stagnant, go faster


Do whatever you need to do to put your safety above all


Listen to your behavior; blaming prevents growth


As if you were in a maze, turn a corner and try a new path


Recognize your use of substances as an attempt to self-medicate


If only professionals are safe for now, that’s okay


You are the author of your life: be the hero who overcomes adversity


Be proactive and prevent bad situations in advance


Ask others if your negative core belief is accurate


You’ll feel more in control with “to-do” lists and a clean house


Face a problem before it becomes huge; notice red flags


Focus on what matters


Try anything, a good plan today is better than a perfect one tomorrow


Find out whether your assumption is true, rather than staying “in your head”


AA, self-help, therapy, medications, groups—anything that keeps you going


Put something between you and danger (e.g., time, distance)


You’ll feel closer to others (but only do this with safe people)


No more neglect—really hear what you need


For example, if you are too dependent, try being more independent


Review a negative event: What can you do differently next time?


What is the price of substance abuse in your life?


A productive schedule keeps you on track and connected to the world


Be specific, set a deadline, and let others know about it


Put up a shield against destructive people, bad environments, and substances


Talk to yourself very gently (as if to a friend or small child)


Really see the impact for tomorrow, next week, next year


Just keep moving forward; the only way out is through


The more you practice and participate, the quicker the healing


Accept all sides of yourself; they are there for a reason


If it feels awkward or difficult, you’re doing it right


Eat candy instead of getting high


See how different the day feels


Do what you can to make today better; don’t get overwhelmed by the past or future


Notice what you did right; this is the most powerful method of growth


Try to notice and understand your reenactments


Do something that you enjoy (e.g., take a walk, see a movie)


If you can’t totally prevent a self-destructive act, at least delay it as long as possible


If it can’t be fixed, detach


Take an active, not a passive approach


Make it happen by setting a date


Promise yourself to do what’s right to help your recovery


Think in a way that helps you feel better


(Grounding) Distract, walk away, change the channel


Seek wisdom that can help you next time


Don’t take it personally when things go wrong—try just to seek a solution


Make your language less harsh


Dialectical reality acceptance and evaluating both sides of the picture


Take the time to think ahead—it’s the opposite of impulsivity


Examples: shoulds, deprivation reasoning


Find a healthy way to celebrate anything you do right


Record a new way of thinking on any recording device or app to play back


Remember a phrase that works for you (e.g., “Stay real” “Time takes time.”)


Failures are setbacks, just a setback, nothing more


“No feeling is final”; just get through it safely


Don’t wait until you feel motivated; just start now


Examples: sports, hobbies, AA . . .


If you suspect danger, stay away


Take an active approach to protect yourself


Before you accept criticism or advice, notice who’s telling it to you


If you’re stuck, try choosing the best solution you can right now; don’t wait


Do what you know will help you, even if you don’t feel like it


Feet first; just get there and let the rest happen


This is truly a life-or-death issue


Make healing your most urgent and important goal, above all else


Lean on them! They can be a source of great support


Tell people what you need


List the aspects of your life you do have control of (e.g., job, friends . . . )



Asking for help can be difficult for many people, especially those who have experienced trauma or have a history of substance abuse. They may feel ashamed or embarrassed to ask for help, or they may not believe that anyone can help them. However, asking for help is an important aspect of any recovery program. There are many different people who can offer help, including:

  • Friends and family:Friends and family can provide emotional support, practical help, and a listening ear.
  • Professionals:Professionals such as therapists, counselors, and doctors can provide specialized help and support.
  • Support groups:Support groups can provide a safe place to talk about your experiences and to connect with others who understand what you are going through.

If you are struggling with trauma or substance abuse, it is important to remember that you are not alone. There are people who can help you.

  • Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
  • Asking for help can be a process and mindset.
  • You can start by identifying who you can ask for help. This could include friends, family, professionals, or support groups.
  • You can be specific about what you need help with. Are you looking for emotional support, practical help, constructive feedback, or specialized help?

I encourage you to be open and willing to receive help. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need. Be grateful for the help you receive. Let the people who help you know how much you appreciate their support. Asking for help can be a difficult step, but it is an important one. If you are struggling with trauma or substance abuse, don’t be afraid to reach out for help. More than likely, there are people who care about you and want to help you get better.


Inspiring yourself is a safe coping skill that can help you to stay motivated and positive when you are feeling sad, isolative, or lethargic. It can be done in a variety of ways.

  • Reading about the experiences of others who have overcome adversity can help you to see that you are not alone and that it is possible to heal from trauma. Listen to music that inspires you.
  • Music can be a powerful tool for lifting your spirits and helping you to feel more hopeful.
  • Look at photos of people or places that you love. Seeing images of things that make you happy can help you to focus on the positive aspects of your life.
  • Create something that you are proud of. Whether it is a piece of art, a poem, or a song, creating something can help you to feel a sense of accomplishment and self-worth.
  • Help others whenever you can. Helping others is a great way to feel good about yourself and to make a difference in the world.

Inspiring yourself can be a simple and effective way to improve your mood and outlook on life. If you are feeling down, try one of these activities to help you feel inspired.


Sure. Leaving a bad scene is a safe coping skill that can help you to avoid being triggered by trauma memories or by current stressors. It can be done in a variety of ways.

  • You can physically remove yourself from the situation if it is safe to do so. If you are in a situation that is making you feel unsafe or uncomfortable, remove yourself from the situation as quickly as possible. This could mean leaving the room, going for a walk, or calling a friend to come and get you.
  • Change your focus. If you cannot physically remove yourself from the situation, try to change your focus. This could mean focusing on your breathing, counting backwards from 10, or thinking about something else that makes you feel safe.
  • Ground yourself. Grounding techniques can help you to bring yourself back to the present moment and to feel more in control. Look around and name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.
  • Pay attention to your body and notice how it feels. Notice any sensations in your feet, legs, torso, arms, and face.
  • Visualize a safe place that you can go to when you are feeling triggered. This could be a place you have been before or a place you have created in your mind.

Leaving a bad scene can be a difficult skill to learn, but it is an important one. If you are struggling with learning how to leave a bad scene, talk to a therapist or counselor. They can help you develop a plan for how to leave a bad scene safely and effectively. There are additional skills you can learn to help you leave uncomfortable and/or unsafe situations.

  • Be aware of your triggers. What are the things that make you feel unsafe or uncomfortable? Once you know your triggers, you can start to develop a plan for how to avoid them.
  • Have a plan and exit strategy. If you find yourself in a bad situation, have a plan for how you are going to leave. This could mean having a friend or family member who can come and get you, or having a safe place you can go to.
  • Please don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you are struggling to leave a bad scene, don’t be afraid to ask for help from a friend, family member, or professional. They can offer support and guidance as you work to develop this important skill.

Leaving a bad scene is a safe and effective way to cope with trauma and stress. By following these tips, you can learn to leave a bad scene safely and effectively.


The idea of Persist focuses on the ability to maintain effort and action towards a goal, even when faced with challenges and hardship.Persisting is about overcoming immediate impulses and short-term desires that could potentially lead to harmful behaviors. This can be particularly difficult when coping with substance abuse or PTSD, as both conditions can result in strong urges to engage in destructive behaviors. The skill of persistence can help individuals resist these impulses and stay focused on their long-term recovery goals. Persistence involves continuing to make progress towards recovery goals, even in the face of adversity. This could mean continuing to attend therapy sessions, persisting in making healthy lifestyle choices, or staying committed to a medication regimen, despite experiencing difficulties or setbacks.

Persistence involves resilience in the face of challenges and setbacks. This can be particularly important for individuals with PTSD and substance use disorders, as they may face a wide range of challenges and barriers to recovery, including stigma, discrimination, lack of support, and even personal setbacks in their recovery process. Persistence can help individuals maintain their resilience and continue to move forward. Persistence also involves maintaining a growth mindset, which is the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed with time, effort, and dedication. By developing a growth mindset, individuals can better face challenges, learn from their mistakes, and ultimately grow stronger in their recovery.

Persistence, like other coping skills in the Seeking Safety program, is taught through a combination of psychoeducation, cognitive restructuring, and experiential exercises. These techniques are designed to help individuals understand the concept of persistence, challenge unhelpful thought patterns, and practice using the skill in a safe and supportive environment.


Honesty as a coping skill is multifaceted. It involves being honest with oneself, as well as with others. Honesty is interwoven with both willingness and ability in recovery. It fuels willingness by promoting self-awareness, admitting powerlessness, and fostering openness to change and support. At the same time, honesty enhances one’s ability by facilitating self-reflection, challenging denial, promoting accountability, and building trust. Embracing honesty is an essential aspect of the recovery process, enabling individuals to lay the groundwork for lasting change, growth, and a healthier, substance-free life. Honesty begins with self-awareness and self-reflection. Individuals in the program are encouraged to honestly assess their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. They are encouraged to recognize and accept their past experiences and the impact trauma may have had on their lives. This self-honesty helps individuals gain insight into their triggers, vulnerabilities, and patterns of coping.

Seeking Safety emphasizes the importance of honest communication with others. This involves expressing one’s needs, boundaries, and feelings in a clear and truthful manner. It also encourages individuals to seek support and guidance from trustworthy individuals, such as therapists, support groups, or loved ones, and to be open about their struggles. In the context of substance use disorders, honesty plays a crucial role in relapse prevention. Individuals are encouraged to be honest with themselves and others about their substance use history, triggers, and the risks associated with continued use. This transparency helps individuals develop a strong support system, make informed decisions, and seek appropriate help when needed.

Honesty in the Seeking Safety context involves challenging denial and distorted thinking patterns. Participants are encouraged to identify and challenge any self-deception, rationalizations, or minimization of the impact of trauma and substance use. By acknowledging the truth and working through denial, individuals can make progress in their recovery journey. Honesty also involves accepting one’s imperfections and acknowledging the progress made in therapy and recovery. It means recognizing that setbacks can happen and being honest about any lapses or difficulties experienced along the way. Embracing honesty helps individuals maintain realistic expectations and fosters a sense of self-compassion. Honesty is an essential coping skill, encompassing self-awareness, truthful communication, relapse prevention, challenging distorted thinking, and accepting imperfections. By practicing honesty, individuals can lay the foundation for healing, growth, and a healthier, more fulfilling life.


While crying itself is not a skill that is formally taught in the Seeking Safety program, emotional expression, including crying, can be an important component of the healing process. Itis a natural and instinctive emotional response to various stimuli, including sadness, grief, frustration, or even joy. It can serve as a release valve for pent-up emotions and can be a healthy way to cope with overwhelming feelings. When it comes to trauma survivors, crying can be particularly beneficial as it allows them to process and release the intense emotions associated with their traumatic experiences.

In the context of the Seeking Safety program, individuals are encouraged to explore and express their emotions in a safe and supportive environment. This may involve allowing themselves to cry when they feel the need to do so. Crying can serve as an emotional release and provide a sense of catharsis, helping individuals to gain a greater sense of control over their emotions and reduce the emotional burden they may carry.

However, it is important to note that the Seeking Safety program also emphasizes the importance of developing a comprehensive set of coping skills beyond crying alone. These skills may include grounding techniques, mindfulness exercises, self-soothing strategies, cognitive reframing, and interpersonal skills. The program aims to equip individuals with a toolbox of coping mechanisms to help them navigate challenging emotions and situations in a healthier and more adaptive way.

If crying becomes overwhelming or interferes with an individual’s daily functioning, it is recommended to seek additional support from a mental health professional. Therapists or counselors can provide guidance on managing intense emotions and assist in developing a personalized coping plan tailored to the individual’s unique needs. And so, while crying itself may not be a specific coping skill taught in the Seeking Safety program, it is recognized as a natural and potentially helpful way to process emotions, particularly for trauma survivors.


Choosing to respect yourself can be a powerful coping skill in managing substance use disorders and trauma. It involves developing a deep sense of self-worth, self-care, and self-compassion. By consciously choosing to respect yourself, you are prioritizing your well-being and making positive choices that support your recovery journey. There are several ways in which choosing to respect yourself can be beneficial. Respecting yourself means setting healthy boundaries with others and learning to say “no” when necessary. This is crucial in the recovery process as it helps protect your physical and emotional well-being. By establishing boundaries, you create an environment that promotes self-respect and prevents relapse triggers or re-traumatization. Engaging in self-care activities demonstrates self-respect. This can involve various practices such as exercise, getting enough sleep, eating nutritious food, practicing mindfulness or meditation, and engaging in hobbies that bring you joy. Prioritizing self-care enhances your overall well-being and helps you cope with stressors and triggers. Self-respectinvolves cultivating positive self-talk and self-compassion. It’s important to challenge negative thoughts and beliefs that may arise from trauma or substance abuse. By treating yourself with kindness and compassion, you can counteract feelings of shame, guilt, or worthlessness, which are common in these situations.

Respecting yourself also means recognizing when you need help and seeking support from others. This can involve reaching out to trusted friends, family members, or support groups who can offer guidance, understanding, and encouragement. Connecting with others who have similar experiences can be particularly helpful in the treatment of substance abuse and trauma. Choosing to respect yourself involves surrounding yourself with people who support your recovery and treat you with respect. It means letting go of toxic relationships that may contribute to negative patterns or trigger substance use or trauma responses. Building healthy relationships that foster mutual respect and understanding can significantly aid in the healing process. Acknowledging and celebrating your milestones and achievements along your recovery journey is a powerful way to demonstrate self-respect. Whether it’s staying sober for a certain period or making progress in therapy, recognizing and rewarding your efforts reinforces your sense of self-worth and motivates you to continue on a positive path.

Choosing to respect yourself is a vital coping skill. It involves establishing boundaries, practicing self-care, cultivating positive self-talk, seeking support, building healthy relationships, and celebrating milestones. By incorporating self-respect into your recovery process, you empower yourself to make healthier choices, overcome challenges, and ultimately lead a fulfilling and meaningful life. Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your well-being and treat yourself with the respect and compassion you deserve.


Taking good care of your body is an essential aspect of overall well-being and is often emphasized as a coping skill in various therapeutic programs, including Seeking Safety.Within the Seeking Safety program, the emphasis on self-care and taking care of one’s body is crucial for several reasons. Here are some key aspects of how taking care of your body serves as a coping skill in this program:

Engaging in self-care activities allows individuals to develop a greater sense of self-awareness and self-compassion. By paying attention to their physical needs and treating their bodies with kindness, individuals can cultivate a more positive and nurturing relationship with themselves, which is particularly important for those who have experienced trauma. Taking care of your body can significantly impact emotional regulation. Engaging in regular physical exercise, maintaining a balanced diet, and getting enough sleep contribute to the release of endorphins and other neurochemicals that promote emotional well-being. When individuals feel more balanced and stable emotionally, they are better equipped to cope with stressors and triggers.

Trauma can leave individuals feeling constantly on edge, anxious, or overwhelmed. Prioritizing self-care activities that focus on relaxation and stress reduction can help mitigate these symptoms. Techniques such as deep breathing exercises, mindfulness meditation, or engaging in soothing activities like taking a bath or practicing gentle yoga can help regulate the body’s stress response and promote a sense of calmness. Trauma can lead to a disconnection between the mind and body. Engaging in self-care activities can help rebuild trust and develop a healthier relationship with the body. By listening to bodily sensations, honoring physical boundaries, and engaging in activities that promote physical well-being, individuals can gradually restore a sense of safety and comfort in their own bodies.

Self-care activities often involve establishing healthy routines and habits. Engaging in regular exercise, maintaining a nutritious diet, getting enough sleep, and practicing good hygiene are all examples of self-care practices that contribute to overall well-being. These routines can provide structure, stability, and a sense of control over one’s life, which is particularly beneficial for individuals in recovery. Taking good care of your body serves as a valuable coping skill taught in the Seeking Safety program because it promotes self-awareness, emotional regulation, stress reduction, trust-building, and the establishment of healthy routines. By incorporating these practices into their lives, individuals can enhance their overall well-being and create a foundation for healing and recovery.


Listing your options involves identifying and exploring various choices available to address challenging situations or make decisions. It encourages individuals to think critically, consider different perspectives, and make informed choices that promote their safety and well-being.Trauma can often disrupt an individual’s ability to think clearly or make decisions. Listing options helps develop problem-solving skills by encouraging individuals to identify multiple potential solutions or courses of action. This process fosters cognitive flexibility and empowers individuals to consider various alternatives, leading to more effective problem-solving and decision-making.

Listing options encourages individuals to step back and view a situation from different angles. By exploring multiple possibilities, individuals gain a broader perspective on their circ*mstances and potential outcomes. This expanded view can promote more thoughtful and nuanced decision-making, minimizing impulsive or reactive responses.Trauma can make individuals feel powerless or trapped. Listing options provides a sense of agency and control, as it reminds individuals that they have choices and can influence their circ*mstances. Recognizing available options empowers individuals to actively participate in shaping their lives and promotes a greater sense of personal autonomy.

Trauma can distort one’s thinking patterns and lead to negative or rigid thinking. Listing options allows individuals to challenge cognitive distortions by examining alternative viewpoints. This process helps individuals recognize and counter negative or limiting thoughts, promoting more balanced and realistic thinking.Listing options encourages individuals to evaluate the potential consequences of each choice. Considering the short-term and long-term outcomes of different options helps individuals weigh the risks and benefits, leading to more informed decision-making. This skill cultivates a greater sense of responsibility and accountability for one’s actions.

Trauma can create a sense of rigidity or inflexibility in thinking and behavior. Listing options promotes flexibility by encouraging individuals to explore alternative approaches. This skill fosters adaptability and resilience, enabling individuals to adjust their plans or responses as needed in different situations.Engaging in the process of listing options and making informed choices can enhance self-confidence. When individuals recognize their ability to identify alternatives and make decisions, they develop a stronger belief in their own capabilities. This increased self-confidence can extend beyond specific situations and positively impact overall self-esteem and empowerment.

Listing your options is an important skill to practice. It empowers individuals by enhancing problem-solving abilities, expanding perspectives, promoting a sense of control, challenging cognitive distortions, considering consequences, fostering flexibility, and increasing self-confidence. By utilizing this skill, individuals can navigate challenging situations more effectively and make choices that support their well-being and recovery.


Creating meaning in your life means finding purpose, value, and significance in one’s life, even in the face of adversity. By actively seeking and cultivating meaning, individuals can experience a greater sense of fulfillment, resilience, and motivation. Trauma can disrupt an individual’s sense of purpose or leave them feeling lost and disconnected. Creating meaning helps individuals identify and develop a sense of purpose that aligns with their values and aspirations. It involves reflecting on personal goals, passions, and interests, and finding ways to incorporate them into daily life. This process can restore a sense of direction and motivation.

The journey of healing from trauma can be challenging and often requires resilience. Creating meaning fosters resilience by providing individuals with a broader perspective and a sense of hope. By focusing on meaningful goals and values, individuals can find strength and purpose in difficult times, enabling them to bounce back from setbacks and continue their recovery journey. Trauma can disrupt an individual’s sense of self and identity. Creating meaning allows individuals to reconstruct and redefine their identities in ways that align with their values and aspirations. It involves exploring personal strengths, talents, and values, and using them as a foundation for personal growth and self-discovery. By actively engaging in the process of creating meaning, individuals can shape a new and empowered identity.

Creating meaning often involves connecting with others and fostering a sense of belonging. Trauma can lead to feelings of isolation and disconnection, but seeking meaningful connections with supportive individuals, communities, or causes can counteract these effects. Engaging in activities or joining groups that share common values and interests provides a sense of belonging, support, and validation.Creating meaning allows individuals to find value and purpose in their past experiences, including traumatic ones. It involves reframing and reinterpreting these experiences, looking for lessons learned, personal growth, or opportunities for resilience. By finding meaning in past struggles, individuals can transform their relationship with trauma and view it as part of their journey toward strength and healing.

Creating meaning encourages individuals to live in alignment with their values and principles. By identifying core values and actively incorporating them into daily life, individuals can experience a greater sense of authenticity, integrity, and fulfillment. Living in alignment with values provides a guiding framework for decision-making, behavior, and relationships, contributing to a more meaningful and purpose-driven life.Engaging in the process of creating meaning can have positive effects on mental health. It promotes a sense of hope, purpose, and optimism, which can counteract feelings of despair, helplessness, or depression. By actively seeking meaning, individuals can experience increased life satisfaction, improved self-esteem, and a greater sense of overall well-being.

Creating meaning supports individuals in finding purpose, resilience, and connection in the aftermath of trauma. By actively seeking and cultivating meaning in their lives, individuals can experience a greater sense of fulfillment, personal growth, and healing.


The concept of “doing the best you can with what you have” is a core principle in the Seeking Safety program. It acknowledges that individuals may face various limitations, challenges, or adverse circ*mstances, but encourages them to make the most of their resources and abilities to promote healing and recovery. Here’s a closer look at this concept:

Trauma and its aftermath can present individuals with numerous obstacles and limitations. These can include emotional, physical, financial, or social constraints. Recognizing and accepting these limitations is a crucial step towards self-compassion and realistic expectations. By acknowledging the constraints, individuals can focus on identifying strategies and solutions that are within their current reach. Despite limitations, the concept emphasizes personal empowerment and self-efficacy. It encourages individuals to harness their existing strengths, skills, and resources to create positive change. By recognizing and utilizing their own abilities, individuals can develop a sense of empowerment and agency in their recovery journey.

The concept of doing the best you can with what you have aligns with the idea of building resilience in the face of adversity. It emphasizes focusing on personal strengths and resources, rather than solely on deficits or challenges. By cultivating resilience, individuals can develop the capacity to adapt, cope, and thrive in the presence of difficulties. Embracing the concept promotes a growth mindset. This mindset recognizes that individuals have the capacity to learn, grow, and improve, even in challenging circ*mstances. It encourages individuals to view setbacks or limitations as opportunities for growth and development, rather than fixed barriers.

Trauma survivors may struggle with self-judgment and feelings of inadequacy. The concept of doing the best you can with what you have encourages individuals to avoid comparing themselves to others and to focus instead on their own progress and efforts. By embracing self-acceptance and self-compassion, individuals can reduce self-criticism and build a more positive self-image. Doing the best you can with what you have emphasizes the importance of making incremental progress. It recognizes that even small steps forward, taken consistently over time, can lead to significant changes and improvements. This concept encourages individuals to set realistic and achievable goals, breaking them down into manageable steps, and celebrating each accomplishment along the way. The concept also underscores the significance of self-care and self-advocacy. It encourages individuals to prioritize their well-being, seek support, and assert their needs and boundaries. By taking proactive steps to care for themselves and advocate for their own needs, individuals can enhance their overall recovery and well-being.


One of the key coping skills taught in the Seeking Safety program is setting boundaries. Setting boundaries is essential for establishing and maintaining healthy relationships, promoting self-care, and protecting oneself from further harm. Setting boundaries refers to defining and communicating one’s personal limits and expectations to others. It involves recognizing one’s needs and rights and learning to assertively communicate them in various situations. This skill is particularly important for individuals with a history of trauma who may have experienced violations of their boundaries in the past.

Setting boundaries helps individuals regain a sense of control and agency over their lives. It empowers them to make decisions that prioritize their well-being and protect them from potential harm. Boundaries create emotional safety by ensuring that individuals are not exposed to situations that trigger their trauma or compromise their emotional well-being. It allows them to establish a secure environment for their recovery. By setting boundaries, individuals learn to value themselves and their needs. This process fosters an increased sense of self-worth and self-respect, which are essential components of healing and building healthy relationships.

Boundaries play a crucial role in establishing healthy and balanced relationships. By clearly communicating personal limits and expectations, individuals can cultivate relationships that are respectful, supportive, and free from exploitation or abuse. Setting boundaries helps individuals manage stress more effectively. It enables them to prioritize their own well-being and allocate time and energy to activities that promote self-care and recovery, reducing the risk of relapse or emotional overwhelm. Setting boundaries requires effective and assertive communication skills. Individuals learn to express their needs, desires, and limits assertively, without aggression or passivity. This skill empowers them to advocate for themselves and negotiate healthy compromises in their interactions with others.

In the Seeking Safety program, setting boundaries is often practiced through role-playing exercises, discussions, and real-life application. Therapists help individuals identify their personal boundaries, explore situations where boundaries may have been violated in the past, and develop strategies for setting and maintaining boundaries in the future. It is important to note that setting boundaries is a dynamic and ongoing process. It requires self-awareness, self-reflection, and continuous practice. As individuals progress through the Seeking Safety program, they gain valuable tools and support to strengthen their boundary-setting skills and promote their overall well-being and recovery.


Self-compassion is an essential coping skill that involves treating oneself with kindness, care, and understanding, particularly during difficult times or when facing personal challenges. It is an alternative to self-criticism and self-judgment, which can be common among individuals struggling with trauma and addiction. By cultivating self-compassion, individuals can develop a healthier and more supportive relationship with themselves, fostering emotional resilience and well-being. People with PTSD and substance use disorders typically experience critical and judgmental self-loathing. They “beat
themselves up” and blame themselves for everything wrong in their life. Negative self talk is really a defense against exploring, in an honest way, a particular problem. This skill helps guide people to replace destructive self-talk with compassionate self-talk. They are taught that only a loving stance toward the self produces lasting change. Self-compassion serves several important purposes.

Self-compassion encourages individuals to recognize and validate their own pain and suffering. It provides a safe space to acknowledge the impact of trauma and addiction without judgment, denial, or minimizing the experience. This acknowledgment is crucial for healing and self-acceptance.Trauma and addiction often lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-blame. Self-compassion helps individuals understand that their experiences are not entirely their fault and that they are not alone in their struggles. It promotes self-forgiveness and self-acceptance, allowing individuals to let go of negative self-judgments and embrace a more compassionate attitude.

Through self-compassion, individuals learn to be their own source of emotional support and understanding. They develop skills to comfort themselves in times of distress, offering words of kindness and encouragement. This self-soothing approach helps regulate emotions, reducing the need for unhealthy coping mechanisms such as substance abuse.Self-compassion empowers individuals to bounce back from setbacks and failures. It cultivates an attitude of understanding and support, which can help individuals navigate challenging situations and setbacks without falling into self-destructive patterns. Self-compassion also fuels intrinsic motivation and a sense of worthiness, allowing individuals to engage in positive behaviors and make healthier choices.

Self-compassion is typically practiced through various techniques such as guided meditations, journaling exercises, and affirmations. These techniques encourage individuals to treat themselves with the same kindness, empathy, and care they would extend to others. By integrating self-compassion into their coping repertoire, individuals can gradually develop a more compassionate and nurturing relationship with themselves. This shift in mindset can be transformative, providing a solid foundation for healing from trauma and addiction while promoting overall well-being and personal growth.


The principle of “When in doubt, do what’s hardest” may initially seem counterintuitive, as we often associate seeking comfort and avoiding difficult situations as a way to cope. However, this coping skill is designed to empower individuals to face their fears and challenges head-on, fostering personal growth and resilience. The idea behind “When in doubt, do what’s hardest” is rooted in the understanding that avoidance and seeking short-term relief often perpetuate the cycle of trauma and addiction. By avoiding challenging situations or tasks, individuals may temporarily feel a sense of relief, but in the long run, it can hinder their progress and limit their ability to heal.

By embracing this coping skill, individuals are encouraged to confront difficult situations or tasks even when they feel uncertain or afraid. Growth and healing often occur outside of our comfort zones. It’s natural to feel hesitant or anxious when facing challenging situations, but by embracing discomfort and pushing through it, we can expand our capacity for resilience and personal development. Trauma and addiction can lead to avoidance behaviors as a way to cope with distressing emotions or memories. By actively choosing to face challenging situations, individuals can break free from the cycle of avoidance and gain a sense of control over their lives.When we face and overcome difficult tasks, we build self-confidence and self-esteem. By proving to ourselves that we can handle challenges, we develop a stronger belief in our capabilities, which can positively impact our overall well-being.

Confronting difficult situations allows us to learn and grow from the experience. It provides an opportunity to develop new skills, gain insights, and discover our inner strength. Each time we face a challenging situation, we enhance our coping skills and become better equipped to handle future obstacles. While it’s important to embrace challenges, it’s equally crucial to recognize when support is needed. Seeking guidance from a therapist, counselor, or support group can provide valuable assistance in navigating difficult situations and ensuring safety throughout the process. Remember, “When in doubt, do what’s hardest” is not about pushing oneself to the point of distress or disregarding personal boundaries. It’s about making a conscious choice to confront challenging situations that promote growth and healing, even when doubts or fears arise. By adopting this coping skill, individuals can gradually build resilience, gain a sense of empowerment, and develop the necessary tools to navigate the complexities of trauma and addiction on their path to recovery.


This coping skill emphasizes the importance of breaking overwhelming tasks into smaller, manageable steps. It can be particularly helpful for individuals who struggle with feeling overwhelmed or paralyzed when faced with challenging situations. Start by identifying the specific task or goal you want to accomplish. It could be something related to work, personal life, or recovery. For example, let’s say your task is to complete a difficult work assignment. Take the task and break it down into smaller, more manageable steps. This helps to reduce the sense of overwhelm and allows you to focus on one step at a time. In our example, you could break down the work assignment into researching, outlining, writing the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.Once you have broken down the task, prioritize the steps in a logical order. Determine which steps need to be completed first and which ones can follow. This helps you stay organized and focused on the immediate next step.

Set realistic goals for each step. Be mindful of your capabilities, resources, and time constraints. Setting achievable goals helps to build confidence and motivation as you complete each step. Start working on the first step. Focus your attention solely on that step and avoid getting overwhelmed by thinking about the entire task. By concentrating on one step at a time, you can make progress and gain a sense of accomplishment. Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements as you complete each step. This positive reinforcement can provide motivation and encouragement to continue moving forward. Once you’ve completed a step, move on to the next one, applying the same approach. Keep breaking down the task into smaller steps and working through them until you accomplish your overall goal. Remember, the key to “Task Yourself Through It” is to focus on one step at a time, taking small, manageable actions. By doing so, you can prevent yourself from becoming overwhelmed and increase your chances of success.


The “Imagine” coping skill in the Seeking Safety Program is a powerful cognitive-behavioral technique designed to help individuals manage distressing emotions, particularly those related to trauma and substance abuse. It encourages the use of the mind’s ability to visualize positive scenarios, experiences, or outcomes as a way to handle negative feelings, thoughts, or cravings. This mental technique is based on the belief that our thoughts can influence our emotions and behaviors.

In practice, the “Imagine” coping skill involves picturing a safe, peaceful place, or perhaps a scenario where one successfully manages a stressful situation without resorting to harmful behaviors. The participant may also imagine achieving their goals or envisioning positive changes in their life. This visualization can help create a sense of calm, provide motivation, and reduce cravings or urges related to substance abuse.

This coping skill does not aim to avoid or deny the existence of problems, but rather to provide a temporary relief or a mental space that helps individuals deal better with their issues. With practice, the individual learns to replace harmful thoughts or cravings with these positive images, enabling them to deal with stressful situations more effectively and promoting their overall recovery.


In Discovery, you are encouraged to use “Discovery” to find out if your beliefs are true, rather than “staying stuck.” You are provided with ways to discover (“Ask Others,” “Try It and See,” “Predict,” and “Act as If ”) and prepared for how to cope with negative feedback.

“Contrary to what I once thought . . . progress did not consist simply in observing, in accumulating . . . facts. . . . It began with the invention of a possible world . . . which was then compared by experimentation with the real world. And it was this constant dialogue between imagination and experiment that allowed . . . an increasingly finegrained conception of what is called reality.” —François Jacob (1988)

This skill/tool provides a way of improving people’s conception of reality through a process of discovery similar to that described in the quotation above. Indeed, one of the best definitions of mental health is “the ability to perceive the world accurately.” Unfortunately, PTSD and substance abuse are typically marked by cognitive rigidity. It is common for people to stay stuck in assumptions such as “The world is a bad place,” “I can’t trust anyone,”
“My only solace is drinking,” and so on. These are often well-worn beliefs learned over many years and may be frustrating both to patients and to therapists.

Cognitive therapy at its best provides patients with a way out, but—and this is key—not through persuasion, but rather through discovery. Sometimes called “empirical hypothesis testing” (Beck et al., 1985), “discovery” means guiding patients to find out whether their beliefs are true. Without this process, most cling for years to damaging beliefs that become reasons not to try, to keep using substances, and to stay right where they are. When cognitive therapy is done poorly, the therapist tries to just tell, lecture, or instill a new belief system: “But you are a good person!” or “You can cope without drinking!” The methods of discovery, in contrast, help patients set up a way to find out and then draw their own conclusions from the results. It creates a feedback loop for patients to explore their experiences. The idea is to keep refining their model of the world, not settling for what others tell them or what they experienced in the past. It is a search for new knowledge.

Part of the difficulty with the discovery process is that patients’ worst fears may come true—getting an HIV test and finding out one is HIV-positive; searching for a job and not finding one. Helping patients face such truths openly and honestly, and learning from them productively, requires careful preparation to tolerate the distress of such discoveries. The guiding principle is that all knowledge is helpful, even painful knowledge. Hiding from reality
is a short-term solution with long-term costs. In the handouts, patients are offered several strategies for discovery and a Discovery Sheet to start working on a belief. They are asked to brainstorm “How can I find out?” with specific examples from their lives. In addition, metaphors are used to increase patients’ motivation to try the discovery process: explorer, scientist, artist, child, or detective. (And trying out a metaphor is in and of itself a method of discovery—the strategy “Act as If ” described in one handout.)

Finally, at the end of the handouts is a written example by a real patient, illustrating the positive results that can be obtained as well as some of the difficulties that can arise. The net result, when discovery is done well, is that patients find a new outlook and feel more in touch with their inner lives and with the assumptions they make. They can view the world more from the stance of adults who have choices rather than as powerless victims. This
can be liberating.


The “choice point” is a critical moment of awareness that happens when someone who is trying to manage addictive behaviors realizes they’re facing a decision that could lead to either maintaining their progress or having a relapse. It is a concept used in many therapy forms, such as Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and it’s crucial in the journey to overcoming addiction. The choice point is the moment when an individual is faced with a cue, craving, or high-risk situation, which could potentially lead them back into their addictive behaviors. However, this is also a moment where they can make the conscious decision to stick to their recovery path and use their coping strategies.

Understanding and recognizing the choice point is an essential coping skill and relapse prevention technique for several reasons. The first is increased Self-Awareness. Recognizing the choice point helps an individual increase their awareness of their triggers, emotions, thoughts, and bodily sensations. This increased self-awareness is key in coping with addictive behaviors.The choice point is not about reacting impulsively to situations but instead about making conscious, proactive decisions. Individuals learn to pause, reflect, and then choose the response that aligns with their values and long-term recovery goals.

Recognizing the choice point empowers individuals because it reminds them they have control over their actions, regardless of their cravings or emotions. It’s a stark reminder that they’re not powerless against their addiction. The ability to navigate choice points effectively can also help build resilience over time. Each time a person successfully navigates a choice point, they’re reinforcing their ability to do so in the future. They learn they can withstand cravings and triggers, which can boost their confidence in their recovery journey.Finally, the effective management of choice points can help prevent relapse. By making conscious decisions that align with their recovery goals, individuals are less likely to fall back into old, destructive patterns.

Using the concept of the choice point involves cultivating mindfulness, developing healthy coping mechanisms, and having a clear understanding of one’s values and goals. Therapy and support groups can assist in learning these skills and applying them to real-life situations. It’s important to remember that while navigating choice points can be challenging, it’s also a crucial part of the journey towards recovery and a healthier life.


Pacing oneself is an important coping skill and relapse prevention technique that can be applied to various aspects of life, including physical and mental well-being. Whether you’re managing stress, recovering from addiction, or dealing with a mental health condition, pacing yourself can help maintain balance, reduce overwhelm, and prevent relapse. In the context of coping skills, pacing yourself involves finding a sustainable rhythm that allows you to effectively manage your energy, emotions, and activities. Pacing yourself can be beneficial as a coping skill.

Pacing yourself helps you avoid excessive stress by allowing you to break tasks or goals into manageable chunks. By pacing your efforts and taking regular breaks, you can prevent burnout, reduce stress levels, and maintain a healthier overall well-being. It involves prioritizing self-care activities and ensuring that you allocate enough time for rest, relaxation, and rejuvenation. By pacing your self-care routines, you can prevent neglecting your own needs and reduce the risk of becoming overwhelmed or emotionally drained. It can be particularly helpful in managing intense emotions. Instead of reacting impulsively or suppressing your feelings, pacing allows you to take a step back, assess the situation, and respond in a more measured and controlled manner. This technique can help prevent emotional outbursts and promote emotional stability.

Pacing yourself is essential when setting and working towards goals. By breaking larger goals into smaller, manageable steps, you can maintain a steady pace of progress. This approach helps prevent feelings of frustration or being overwhelmed, increasing the likelihood of sustained motivation and achievement.Pacing yourself encourages you to establish clear boundaries and become more attuned to your own limitations. It involves recognizing when to say no, when to take a break, and when to seek support. This self-awareness helps you maintain a healthier balance in your life and reduces the risk of pushing yourself to the point of exhaustion or relapse.

In terms of relapse prevention, pacing yourself plays a crucial role in maintaining long-term recovery from addiction or other harmful behaviors. Pacing yourself helps you identify and manage triggers that may lead to relapse. By recognizing your vulnerabilities and pacing activities or environments that pose a risk, you can better protect yourself and make healthier choices. Pacing yourself can help mitigate the impact of stress and cravings, which are common triggers for relapse. By practicing stress-reducing techniques, such as deep breathing, mindfulness, or engaging in enjoyable activities, you can better manage these challenges and reduce the risk of relapse. It allows you to gradually build resilience and develop healthy coping mechanisms. By consistently practicing self-care, engaging in positive activities, and setting realistic goals, you can strengthen your ability to withstand challenges and reduce the likelihood of relapse.Pacing yourself involves regularly assessing your progress and making adjustments as needed. By monitoring your behavior, emotions, and overall well-being, you can identify warning signs or patterns that may indicate an increased risk of relapse. This self-awareness enables you to take proactive steps to prevent a potential relapse.

Pacing yourself as a coping skill and relapse prevention technique involves finding a sustainable rhythm in various aspects of life. By managing stress, prioritizing self-care, regulating emotions, setting realistic goals, and maintaining boundaries, you can reduce overwhelm, maintain balance, and decrease the risk of relapse. Pacing yourself allows for a more sustainable and healthier approach to life’s challenges and helps promote long-term well-being and recovery.


In the context of the Seeking Safety program, the concept of staying safe serves as both a coping skill and a relapse prevention technique.Staying safe is a fundamental principle of the Seeking Safety program. It involves learning and implementing various strategies to maintain physical and emotional safety, which is crucial for individuals who have experienced trauma and are at risk of relapse. Here’s how staying safe functions as a coping skill and relapse prevention technique within the program:

Coping Skill:

You learn how to recognize and identify triggers related to trauma or substance use. By understanding their triggers, you can anticipate potentially difficult situations and prepare coping strategies in advance. You learn how to implement grounding techniques, such as deep breathing, mindfulness exercises, or sensory-focused activities, to help individuals stay present and manage overwhelming emotions or distressing thoughts. Thought stopping involves recognizing and interrupting negative or intrusive thoughts. Participants practice replacing negative thoughts with positive affirmations or engaging in distracting activities. Engaging in self-care activities, such as exercise, healthy eating, and maintaining a regular sleep schedule, can promote overall well-being and emotional stability.

Relapse Prevention:

You can create a comprehensive safety plan that includes strategies to prevent relapse and manage potential crises. The plan typically includes emergency contacts, coping strategies, alternative activities, and reminders of personal goals and motivations for recovery. You will learn the importance of building your network of social support. You are encouraged to identify and connect with supportive individuals, such as family members, friends, or support groups, who can provide assistance during challenging times. The program helps individuals explore and adopt healthy coping mechanisms as alternatives to substance use. This may involve engaging in hobbies, participating in therapy or counseling, pursuing creative outlets, or practicing relaxation techniques. You will learn about the effects of trauma and substance abuse, equipping you with knowledge about the interplay between the two. By understanding the link, you can make informed decisions and implement relapse prevention strategies effectively.


The concept of seeking to understand, not to blame, is a valuable coping skill that can be applied in various contexts. Seeking to understand rather than blaming oneself or others is an essential principle that promotes healing and growth. This approach encourages individuals to shift their mindset from assigning blame to actively seeking comprehension and empathy.

Blaming oneself or others often perpetuates a cycle of negativity and disempowerment. By choosing to understand, individuals take responsibility for their own healing and growth, recognizing that they have the power to change their perspective and responses. Many individuals with trauma and addiction issues tend to blame themselves for past events or their current circ*mstances. This self-blame can be a significant barrier to recovery. Seeking to understand allows individuals to explore their experiences and behaviors with compassion, acknowledging that they did the best they could under the circ*mstances.

By seeking understanding, individuals develop a compassionate outlook not only towards themselves but also towards others. This can facilitate the healing process and foster healthier relationships. Understanding the complexities of one’s trauma and the impact it has on others promotes empathy and a non-judgmental attitude. Blaming others can be a common response to trauma and addiction. However, this blame game can hinder progress and perpetuate a cycle of resentment and hostility. Seeking to understand disrupts this cycle by promoting open communication, empathy, and problem-solving.Seeking to understand doesn’t mean condoning harmful behavior or excusing actions that have caused harm. It means striving to comprehend the underlying factors contributing to these behaviors. This understanding enables individuals to set and enforce healthy boundaries, ensuring their safety and well-being.

In the Seeking Safety program, the emphasis on seeking understanding aligns with the overarching goal of establishing safety and fostering recovery. By exploring the factors contributing to trauma and addiction, individuals can gain insight, develop coping skills, and work towards building a healthier future. It’s important to note that Seeking Safety is a comprehensive program that incorporates various coping skills and therapeutic techniques. Seeking to understand, not to blame, is just one aspect of this multifaceted approach. The program combines elements of cognitive-behavioral therapy, psychoeducation, and mindfulness to address the complex interplay between trauma and substance abuse.


Asking others for help and support is an important coping skill in the context of the Seeking Safety program.In Seeking Safety, the concept of asking others is emphasized as a coping skill because it recognizes the value of seeking support from trusted individuals. Asking others fosters connection and builds social support. Asking others for help acknowledges the importance of human connection and social support in the recovery process. It encourages individuals to reach out to trusted friends, family members, or support groups who can provide empathy, understanding, and encouragement.Trauma and substance abuse can often lead to feelings of isolation and disconnection. By asking others for support, individuals can break free from the isolation and create a sense of belonging. Sharing their experiences and challenges with others who have gone through similar struggles can help validate their feelings and experiences.

Asking others for help allows individuals to receive validation and empathy, which are essential for healing and recovery. When someone listens to their story without judgment, it can help them feel heard, understood, and accepted. This can be particularly powerful for individuals who have experienced trauma, as it counters the isolation and shame often associated with those experiences. Seeking support from others who have faced similar challenges can provide valuable insights and coping strategies. Participants can learn from the experiences of others who have overcome similar obstacles, gain new perspectives, and discover effective coping mechanisms that they may not have considered on their own.

Asking for help provides accountability, support, and encouragement. By asking others for help, individuals can create a support system that holds them accountable for their recovery goals. Trusted individuals can provide encouragement, motivation, and guidance, which can be instrumental in maintaining progress and avoiding relapse. It is important to note that while asking others for help is a valuable coping skill, it is essential to seek support from individuals who are trustworthy and supportive. In the context of Seeking Safety, participants are encouraged to build a network of reliable and compassionate individuals who can provide the necessary support for their recovery journey. The concept of asking others recognizes the power of connection, support, and shared experiences in promoting healing and recovery from trauma and substance abuse. By reaching out to trusted individuals and seeking their assistance, participants can develop a stronger sense of resilience and build a foundation for long-term well-being.


In the context of the Seeking Safety program, time management, organization, and getting organized can be valuable coping skills to help individuals maintain stability, reduce stress, and enhance overall well-being. Seeking Safety is an evidence-based program designed to address trauma and co-occurring substance abuse or addiction. While the program primarily focuses on safety and grounding techniques, incorporating time management and organization strategies can complement these efforts and provide additional support.

Time Management:

Effective time management involves prioritizing tasks, setting goals, and allocating appropriate time for each activity. For individuals in the Seeking Safety program, managing time effectively can contribute to a sense of structure and stability, helping them stay on track with their recovery and daily responsibilities. They can create schedules or use time-management tools to plan their days, ensuring they allocate time for therapy sessions, support group meetings, self-care activities, and other necessary tasks. By managing time wisely, individuals can reduce the risk of feeling overwhelmed or falling behind on their recovery goals.


Being organized involves arranging and structuring one’s environment in a way that promotes efficiency and reduces clutter or chaos. In the context of Seeking Safety, organization can apply to physical spaces, such as homes or therapy rooms, as well as to personal belongings, paperwork, and digital files. Creating an organized environment can have a positive impact on mental well-being by reducing distractions, enhancing focus, and facilitating a sense of control. Additionally, individuals can develop systems for organizing their recovery-related materials, such as therapy worksheets, coping strategies, or progress journals, making it easier to access and review them when needed.

Getting Organized as a Coping Skill:

Getting organized can also be seen as a coping skill in itself. When individuals have experienced trauma or are going through the recovery process, they may struggle with feelings of chaos, unpredictability, or lack of control. Engaging in organizing activities, such as cleaning and decluttering, can provide a sense of mastery and agency over their immediate environment. It can serve as a grounding technique, helping individuals shift their focus from distressing thoughts or emotions to the present moment and the task at hand. The act of organizing can also promote a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, boosting self-esteem and motivation.

Incorporating time management, organization, and getting organized as coping skills offers individuals practical tools to enhance their recovery journey. By developing these skills, individuals can establish structure, reduce stress, and foster a sense of control and stability in their lives, all of which are crucial elements in trauma-informed care and supporting overall well-being.


The concept of trying another way if one way doesn’t work can be a valuable coping skill, especially in the context of the Seeking Safety program. Seeking Safety is an evidence-based therapeutic intervention designed to help individuals who have experienced trauma and are struggling with issues related to trauma and substance abuse. The program aims to provide clients with practical coping skills that they can use to enhance their safety and promote recovery.

In Seeking Safety, the principle of trying another way if one way doesn’t work aligns with the program’s emphasis on flexibility, adaptability, and resilience. It recognizes that not all coping strategies will be effective for everyone in every situation. Therefore, individuals are encouraged to explore alternative approaches when the initially attempted coping mechanism proves ineffective.

Here are some key points to consider:

Individualized Approach: Each person’s experiences, needs, and preferences are unique. Therefore, it promotes an individualized approach to coping skills. If a particular coping strategy doesn’t resonate with an individual or doesn’t yield the desired results, the program encourages exploring other options that may be more effective for that person.

Trial and Error: Finding effective coping mechanisms often involves a process of trial and error. It’s important for individuals to have a variety of coping strategies at their disposal and be willing to experiment with different techniques. By doing so, they can determine which strategies work best for them in various situations.

Flexibility and Adaptability: Life circ*mstances and triggers can change, requiring individuals to adapt their coping strategies accordingly. Being flexible and open to trying new approaches when the old ones are no longer effective or relevant is important. This flexibility allows individuals to cope with different challenges that may arise during their recovery journey.

Building Resilience: The ability to adapt and try alternative coping strategies builds resilience. Individuals are empowered by developing a sense of self-efficacy and confidence in their ability to navigate difficult situations. When individuals persistently explore new approaches, it supports the development of resilience in the face of adversity.

Professional Guidance: Sessions are facilitated by trained therapists who provide guidance and support throughout the process. Therapists play a crucial role in helping individuals identify and evaluate different coping strategies, offering insights, and helping clients navigate challenges. Their expertise can help clients find alternative coping mechanisms when needed.


Cognitively linking trauma, stressors, anxiety, depression, and substance abuse can be an effective coping skill in the context of relapse prevention and the Seeking Safety program. The Seeking Safety program is a therapeutic intervention designed to address both trauma and substance abuse concurrently. It emphasizes the importance of understanding the relationship between trauma and substance abuse and provides individuals with practical coping strategies to manage both.

One of the key concepts in the Seeking Safety program is the idea that trauma, stressors, anxiety, depression, and substance abuse are interconnected. People who have experienced trauma often develop symptoms of anxiety and depression as a result, which can contribute to their substance abuse as a means of self-medication or coping. By recognizing and understanding this interplay, individuals can develop healthier coping mechanisms to break the cycle.

Cognitive linking refers to the process of consciously recognizing and acknowledging the connections between these different factors. It involves understanding how trauma and stressors can trigger anxiety and depression, which, in turn, may lead to substance abuse. By linking these experiences cognitively, individuals can gain insight into their own patterns and develop strategies to address them.

In the context of relapse prevention, cognitive linking can be used to identify potential triggers and vulnerabilities that may increase the risk of relapse. For example, someone who has experienced trauma may recognize that certain situations or emotions remind them of their past trauma, leading to heightened anxiety and a desire to use substances as a way to cope. By cognitively linking these triggers, they can develop alternative coping strategies to manage their anxiety and prevent relapse.

The Seeking Safety program provides various coping skills that individuals can use in response to cognitive linking. These skills may include relaxation techniques, grounding exercises, self-soothing strategies, and thought reframing. By practicing these skills, individuals can learn healthier ways to cope with stress, anxiety, and depression without resorting to substance abuse.


Alone is not the same as isolation, loneliness, and disconnection. Alone can mean solitude, detachment, and serenity. The human mind determines the meaning, and assigns interpretations to experience. In short, you decide to be alone, or lonely. In the context of relapse prevention and the Seeking Safety program, it is important to recognize that being alone is often better than being in an unhealthy relationship, especially one characterized by abuse. While relationships can provide companionship, support, and love, being in an abusive relationship can have severe consequences for one’s physical, mental, emotional, and financial well-being.

Firstly, physical safety is paramount. Abusive relationships can involve physical violence, which puts individuals at risk of injury or even death. Remaining in such a relationship can perpetuate a cycle of violence, making it difficult to break free from the harmful dynamics. By choosing to be alone, individuals can prioritize their physical safety and remove themselves from harmful situations.

Mental and emotional well-being also suffer in abusive relationships. Emotional abuse, manipulation, and control tactics can severely impact an individual’s self-esteem, self-worth, and overall mental health. Being constantly subjected to belittling, gaslighting, or demeaning behavior can lead to anxiety, depression, and a diminished sense of self. Choosing to be alone can provide an opportunity for healing and self-discovery, allowing individuals to focus on their mental and emotional well-being without the constant presence of abuse.

Financial safety is another critical aspect often compromised in abusive relationships. Abusers may exert control over finances, limiting the victim’s access to money or employment opportunities. This dependence can make it challenging for individuals to leave the abusive relationship, as they may fear being left without financial resources. However, being alone provides an opportunity to regain control over one’s financial situation and establish independence, which is crucial for long-term stability and safety.

The Seeking Safety program emphasizes the importance of creating a safe environment. Recognizing the harmful effects of an abusive relationship and understanding that being alone can be a healthier alternative aligns with the goals of this program. Seeking Safety promotes self-care, setting boundaries, and developing healthy coping mechanisms, all of which are easier to achieve outside of an abusive relationship. It is important to note that choosing to be alone does not mean complete isolation. Support systems, such as friends, family, therapists, or support groups, can play a vital role in providing emotional support and guidance during this transitional period. These connections can help individuals rebuild their lives, regain their sense of self, and develop healthy relationships in the future.


In the context of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), creating a new story, narrative, and schemas is a powerful technique that can be used to promote positive change and support various therapeutic goals such as coping skills, relapse prevention, and the Seeking Safety program. Let’s explore how these concepts intertwine: Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a widely used therapeutic approach that focuses on the connection between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. It aims to help individuals identify and challenge negative or distorted thinking patterns and replace them with more accurate and constructive thoughts. By modifying cognitive processes, CBT helps individuals develop healthier coping strategies and improve their emotional well-being. Creating a new story involves examining the narratives and belief systems that individuals hold about themselves, others, and the world. It involves exploring how past experiences, traumas, and learned behaviors have shaped their current mindset. By recognizing and challenging negative or self-defeating narratives, individuals can begin to construct a more positive and empowering story for themselves.

In the context of CBT, therapists work with individuals to identify maladaptive or unhelpful thoughts and beliefs that contribute to their difficulties. Through collaborative exploration and reframing, individuals can gradually develop a new narrative that aligns with their strengths, values, and desired goals. This process can foster resilience, enhance self-esteem, and promote a sense of agency.

Schemas are cognitive structures that represent an individual’s core beliefs and assumptions about themselves, others, and the world. Schemas develop early in life and can shape how individuals interpret and respond to situations throughout their lives. In therapy, identifying and modifying maladaptive schemas is crucial for long-term change. Through CBT techniques, individuals can challenge and restructure their existing schemas, replacing them with more adaptive and accurate ones. For example, someone struggling with substance abuse may hold a schema that they are inherently weak or incapable of change. By examining evidence to the contrary and developing alternative perspectives, individuals can construct new schemas that emphasize their strengths, resilience, and capacity for growth.

Creating a new story and developing new schemas play a significant role in coping skills development and relapse prevention. In CBT-based relapse prevention programs, individuals learn to identify triggers, manage cravings, and employ alternative coping strategies to prevent relapse. By reframing their experiences and beliefs, individuals can cultivate resilience and adopt healthier coping mechanisms. Seeking Safety incorporates these principles. It aims to create a new story of safety, empowerment, and self-care while teaching specific coping skills to manage triggers and prevent relapse. Through this program, individuals can reconstruct their narratives, develop healthy schemas, and build a foundation for recovery.


Avoiding avoidable suffering can be a valuable coping skill and relapse prevention technique in various aspects of life, particularly when dealing with emotional or psychological challenges. This approach involves recognizing potential sources of suffering and taking proactive steps to minimize or eliminate them. By doing so, individuals can create a more conducive environment for their well-being and reduce the risk of relapse into negative patterns or behaviors.

Developing self-awareness is crucial in recognizing the sources of suffering in one’s life. This involves understanding personal triggers, patterns of negative thinking, and behaviors that contribute to distress. By being mindful of these factors, individuals can identify areas where they have control and take steps to avoid or mitigate the associated suffering.Establishing healthy boundaries is essential for avoiding avoidable suffering. This includes setting limits on what is acceptable in relationships, work environments, and personal commitments. By clearly communicating and enforcing these boundaries, individuals can reduce stress, protect their well-being, and prevent relapse into harmful situations or relationships.

Making conscious choices that prioritize well-being is an effective way to avoid unnecessary suffering. This may involve adopting a balanced and healthy lifestyle that includes regular exercise, proper nutrition, sufficient sleep, and stress-reducing activities. By taking care of physical and mental health, individuals are better equipped to cope with challenges and are less likely to relapse into negative coping mechanisms.Developing positive coping strategies is crucial for avoiding avoidable suffering and preventing relapse. Engaging in activities that promote relaxation, such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or hobbies that bring joy and fulfillment, can help reduce stress and improve resilience. Seeking support from trusted friends, family, or professionals can also provide valuable assistance in times of distress.

Taking a proactive approach to problem-solving can help minimize avoidable suffering. By identifying potential challenges or triggers in advance, individuals can develop strategies to address them effectively. This may involve creating contingency plans, seeking advice from others, or learning new skills to manage difficult situations. Engaging in structured planning can provide a sense of control and reduce the likelihood of relapse.Reflecting on past experiences and identifying lessons learned is essential for avoiding avoidable suffering. By examining past mistakes or relapses, individuals can gain insight into their triggers and develop strategies to prevent similar situations in the future. This process of self-reflection and growth can lead to increased resilience and a reduced risk of relapse.

In some cases, seeking professional help, such as therapy or counseling, can be instrumental in avoiding avoidable suffering and preventing relapse. Mental health professionals can provide guidance, support, and evidence-based strategies to cope with challenges effectively. They can also assist in developing personalized relapse prevention plans tailored to an individual’s specific needs. It’s important to note that avoiding all suffering is not realistic or possible. However, by focusing on avoidable suffering and taking proactive steps to minimize it, individuals can significantly improve their well-being and reduce the risk of relapse into negative patterns or behaviors.


One of the most important relapse prevention plan coping skills is to watch for danger signs. Danger signs are early warning signals that a relapse may be imminent. They can be physical, emotional, or behavioral. Some common danger signs include:

  • Physical: Feeling tired, restless, or irritable. Changes in appetite or sleep patterns. Headaches, stomachaches, or other physical pain.
  • Emotional: Feeling anxious, depressed, or angry. Feeling overwhelmed or stressed. Having negative thoughts about yourself or your recovery.
  • Behavioral: Spending more time alone. Avoiding social activities. Isolating yourself from friends and family. Lying to yourself or others about your drinking or drug use.

It is important to be aware of your own danger signs and to have a plan in place to deal with them. If you start to notice any of these signs, it is important to take action immediately. Talk to your therapist, sponsor, or another trusted person in recovery. They can help you to develop coping skills and to stay on track.

Here are some additional tips for watching for danger signs:

  • Keep a journal. This can help you to track your moods, thoughts, and behaviors. It can also help you to identify patterns that may lead to relapse.
  • Talk to your therapist or sponsor regularly. They can help you to stay on track and to identify any potential danger signs.
  • Attend support groups. This can help you to connect with other people in recovery and to learn from their experiences.
  • Be aware of your triggers. Triggers are events or situations that can lead to cravings or urges to use drugs or alcohol. Once you know your triggers, you can develop strategies for avoiding them or coping with them in a healthy way.

By watching for danger signs and taking action early, you can significantly reduce your risk of relapse. Remember, relapse is not inevitable. With the right tools and support, you can stay in recovery for the long term.


The “healing above all” relapse prevention coping skill is a way of thinking about recovery that emphasizes the importance of putting your health and well-being first. This means taking care of your physical, mental, and emotional health, and making choices that support your recovery.

When you are in recovery, it is important to be aware of the warning signs of relapse. These signs can include:

  • Feeling stressed or overwhelmed
  • Having cravings for drugs or alcohol
  • Spending time with people who use drugs or alcohol
  • Feeling like you can’t cope with life without drugs or alcohol

If you are experiencing any of these warning signs, it is important to take action to prevent a relapse. This could include:

  • Talking to your therapist or counselor
  • Attending a support group
  • Practicing relaxation techniques
  • Getting involved in healthy activities

The “healing above all” relapse prevention coping skill is an important part of recovery. By putting your health and well-being first, you can increase your chances of staying sober and living a healthy life.

Here are some additional tips for using the “healing above all” relapse prevention coping skill:

  • Make a list of your triggers and develop a plan for how to deal with them.
  • Find healthy ways to cope with stress and difficult emotions.
  • Surround yourself with supportive people who understand your recovery journey.
  • Take care of your physical health by eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep.
  • Attend regular therapy or counseling sessions.
  • Participate in a support group.
  • Read books and articles about addiction and recovery.
  • Talk to other people in recovery about their experiences.

By following these tips, you can develop a strong foundation for recovery and reduce your risk of relapse.


The “try something, anything” coping skill is a relapse prevention strategy that encourages people to take action when they are feeling triggered or tempted to use drugs or alcohol. The idea is that even if you don’t know what to do, it’s better to do something than nothing.

There are many different things you can try when you’re feeling triggered. Some people find it helpful to talk to a friend or family member, exercise, or listen to music. Others find it helpful to engage in relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing or meditation. And still others find it helpful to do something creative, such as writing, painting, or playing music. The important thing is to find something that works for you and to commit to doing it when you’re feeling triggered. The more you practice using these coping skills, the more effective they will become.

Here are some additional tips for using the “try something, anything” coping skill:

  • Keep a list of coping skills. This will help you to quickly find something to do when you’re feeling triggered.
  • Practice your coping skills when you’re not feeling triggered. This will help you to become more familiar with them and to make them more likely to come to mind when you need them.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you’re struggling to cope, talk to a therapist, counselor, or other trusted professional.

The “try something, anything” coping skill is not a magic bullet. It won’t prevent you from relapsing altogether. However, it can help you to manage your cravings and to make better choices when you’re feeling tempted to use drugs or alcohol.


The Seeking Safety program is a cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) intervention for individuals with co-occurring mental health and substance use disorders. One of the coping skills taught in the Seeking Safety program is “attend treatment.” This skill involves attending regular therapy sessions and participating in other forms of treatment, such as medication management, peer support groups, and 12-step programs.

There are several reasons why attending treatment is an important coping skill for people with co-occurring disorders. First, treatment can help people to understand their mental health and substance use problems. This understanding can help people to make changes in their lives that will reduce their risk of relapse. Second, treatment can teach people coping skills that they can use to manage their symptoms and cravings. These skills can help people to stay sober and mentally healthy. Third, treatment can provide people with a support system of other people who are struggling with similar problems. This support system can be invaluable during times of crisis.

Attending treatment is not always easy. It can be time-consuming and expensive. It can also be difficult to face the challenges of recovery. However, the benefits of treatment far outweigh the challenges. If you are struggling with co-occurring disorders, I encourage you to seek treatment. It is the best way to improve your chances of recovery.

Here are some tips for attending treatment:

  • Find a therapist or treatment program that you feel comfortable with.
  • Be honest with your therapist about your problems.
  • Participate in all aspects of treatment, such as individual therapy, group therapy, and medication management.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for help from your therapist or other members of your treatment team.
  • Remember that recovery is a journey, not a destination. There will be ups and downs along the way. Don’t give up.

If you or someone you know is struggling with co-occurring disorders, please reach out for help. There are many resources available to you. You are not alone.

When you seek out any services, remember that you are a consumer. This means that you have choices and rights, and that if you are not satisfied with the treatment you are receiving you can ”shop around” to find treatments that fit better for you.

The quality of treatment differs widely. There are many health care professionals who can be enormously helpful to you. Unfortunately, there are also professionals who are not helpful, and some who are actually harmful. Research on psychotherapy, for example, shows that therapists differ widely in their effectiveness, and that such differences are not associated with number of years’ experience, type of training (e.g., social worker vs. psychiatrist
vs. psychologist), recovery status (whether the person has overcome an addiction problem), or how much is charged. This means that when selecting a therapist, you will need to evaluate the person based on factors other than these.

Find specialists. Because you are struggling with two particular disorders—PTSD and substance abuse—you should seek out the best available help you can from people who are up to date on specialized treatments for these types of problems (and similarly for any other problem for which you need help). Shop around. Before deciding on a treatment, especially in mental health, try to ”shop around” by visiting several treaters. For example, you may want to have at least one session with three different therapists to find out who feels most helpful. Keep trying additional ones until you find one you truly like. Treaters differ in their styles, and, just as in other relationships, there are some combinations of people who work better with each other. Try to notice whom you feel most ”heard” by, and what style you like (e.g., highly supportive? very direct? confrontational? warm? intelligent? informative?). Notice whether you feel you can truly open up to this person. Ask questions. When you are talking with a potential treater, you have a right to ask questions such as “What is your model of treatment (and are there any other types of treatment for my problems)?”, “How would you help me?”, “How long would treatment last?”, “Have you worked with patients like me before?”, “Where did you complete your training?”, “Do you accept my health insurance?”, “How much will treatment cost?”, “Are there any less expensive treatments available?”

Stay only in treatments that work for you. If you try a treatment and don’t like it, remember that you can leave. Never stay in a treatment out of guilt that you’ll hurt the treater’s feelings or because you feel pressure. Report unethical treaters. If a treater is unethical (e.g., propositions you sexually), you can report the treater by contacting the head of the clinic or hospital, calling a state board that licenses the treater (e.g., the state medical board), contacting the office of consumer affairs in your state, or contacting the ethics board of the treater’s professional association (e.g., the American Psychological Association, the National Association of Social Workers, or the American Psychiatric Association). Locate consumer information. Some states are beginning to provide phone information designed for consumers of health care. For example, in Massachusetts, the Massachusetts Medical Society (800-377-0550) provides a listing of all physicians in the state (including psychiatrists), their credentials, and any disciplinary actions against
them for ethical violations. Also, the Internet has a multitude of information, which you can access at many public libraries.

If you are mandated by a court to attend treatment, many of these guidelines may not apply until you have completed the mandated treatment. However, even if mandated, you may have choices of which treatment to attend.

Know your insurance benefits. Find out about your insurance coverage. Insurance plans differ widely. Contact your insurance company before selecting a treater; give the company your identification number (even within insurance plans, the amount covered may vary); and find out everything you can about the amount that can be covered, for how long, whether you need ”preauthorization” to have services covered, whether there is a list of treaters
for that particular insurance plan that you can obtain (using such a list may reduce the cost you have to pay), whether the amount paid will differ depending on the treater, and whether coverage will at any point be determined by a clinical review of your case (e.g., some patients with depression cannot get psychotherapy covered for more than a few sessions unless they take antidepressant medication as well). Keep a list of the people
you talked to and on what dates.

Confidentiality of your records may be a concern. You will need to sign a waiver that allows the insurance company to have access to confidential information about you and your treatment. If there is information that you do not want anyone ever to have access to (e.g., that you are on antidepressant medication), you may choose to pay directly rather than having this covered by your insurance. Know that it is up to you—not your treater—to protect your financial interests. Indeed, many treaters will not even ask you about your insurance coverage. As with buying any other service or product, it may be wise to do some comparison shopping. You can pay very different amounts for the same treatment. When contacting treaters, it is fine to ask how much they charge before booking an appointment.

Also, many people do not know that under Blue Cross/Blue Shield, Medicare, or Medicaid, a treater who is listed as a provider for any of these and who agrees to treat you is legally obligated to accept that insurance first before any private practice billing. Some treaters do not accept patients with these types of insurance, and it is entirely legal to do so. But if a treater is listed as a provider and accepts you as a patient, then the treater must accept that insurance. This means that there are limits on the amount that can be “balance-billed” (i.e., each of these plans sets maximum rates that are allowed, and the provider is obligated to accept these until the insurance runs out for that calendar year). Note, however, that the treater is not obligated to ask you if you have insurance, so unless you ask, you may end up paying for services that would be covered. In short, know your insurance and be clear at the beginning of treatment about how billing will


Creating a buffer as a coping skill can be an effective strategy to help prevent relapse in various areas of life, including addiction recovery, mental health management, and personal growth. The concept of a buffer involves establishing healthy habits, routines, and support systems to provide a protective layer between an individual and potential triggers or stressors that could lead to relapse or setbacks. Here’s a closer look at how creating a buffer can be beneficial and some strategies to implement it:

Identifying the triggers or situations that can potentially lead to relapse is crucial. It could be specific people, places, emotional states, or certain activities. By gaining awareness of these triggers, individuals can take proactive measures to create a buffer against them. Establishing healthy habits and routines can provide stability and structure, reducing the likelihood of relapse. This includes maintaining a balanced diet, regular exercise, sufficient sleep, and practicing relaxation techniques like meditation or deep breathing. These activities promote physical and emotional well-being, making individuals more resilient to stress and less prone to seek unhealthy coping mechanisms.Building a strong support network is essential in creating a buffer. Surrounding oneself with supportive and understanding individuals, such as family, friends, or support groups, can offer encouragement, accountability, and a safe space to share struggles and victories. Engaging in therapy or counseling can also provide professional guidance and support in maintaining recovery.

Developing new coping skills and strategies can be an effective buffer against relapse. This might include learning healthier ways to manage stress, practicing effective communication, developing problem-solving abilities, or engaging in hobbies and activities that bring joy and fulfillment.Prioritizing self-care is vital for maintaining a buffer against relapse. Engaging in activities that nurture and rejuvenate the mind, body, and spirit can help individuals stay centered and better equipped to handle life’s challenges. This can involve engaging in hobbies, practicing mindfulness, setting boundaries, and engaging in regular self-reflection.

When possible, it is crucial to avoid high-risk situations or environments that may trigger relapse. This might involve making changes to one’s social circle, avoiding places associated with past substance use, or setting boundaries with individuals who may not support one’s recovery journey. Committing to ongoing personal growth and learning can strengthen the buffer against relapse. This may involve attending workshops, reading self-help books, participating in support group meetings, or seeking professional development opportunities. By expanding one’s knowledge and skills, individuals become better equipped to navigate challenges and cope with stressors. Remember, creating a buffer is a proactive approach that requires consistent effort and commitment. It is essential to recognize that setbacks may still occur, but by having a buffer in place, individuals can increase their resilience and decrease the likelihood of relapse.


The concept of “saying what you really think” refers to expressing one’s true thoughts, feelings, and opinions without inhibition or fear of judgment or negative consequences. It involves communicating authentically and honestly, sharing one’s genuine perspective and emotions, and not suppressing or hiding one’s true self. This can be particularly relevant in situations where there is a tendency to hold back or conform due to social pressures, fear of rejection, or concerns about how others might perceive or react to one’s thoughts.

Using “saying what you really think” as a coping skill can be valuable in various aspects of life, including preventing relapse in the context of addiction recovery or mental health management.Addiction and mental health challenges often involve complex and intense emotions. By expressing what you truly think and feel, you release emotional energy and prevent it from building up and overwhelming you. Bottling up emotions can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and the potential for relapse. Expressing your thoughts honestly allows you to acknowledge and address underlying issues or triggers.

Relapse prevention requires self-awareness and the ability to recognize and manage personal triggers and vulnerabilities. By openly sharing your thoughts, you cultivate a deeper understanding of your own needs, desires, and limitations. This self-awareness can help you identify potential risks and develop strategies to cope with them effectively. Honest communication fosters genuine connections with others. When you express your true thoughts and feelings, you give people around you the opportunity to understand you better and provide support. Building a network of supportive relationships is crucial for relapse prevention, as it creates a sense of belonging, accountability, and encouragement.

Openly sharing your thoughts and concerns allows you to engage in constructive problem-solving and resolve conflicts more effectively. By communicating honestly, you can address issues directly, seek resolutions, and prevent them from escalating into situations that could trigger a relapse.Sometimes, individuals in recovery may experience internal conflicts, such as doubts, guilt, or conflicting emotions. By expressing what you truly think, you can gain clarity, confront these conflicts, and work towards resolving them. This internal alignment can provide a stronger foundation for your recovery and decrease the likelihood of relapse.

However, it’s important to note that “saying what you really think” should be practiced mindfully and considerately. It’s crucial to communicate your thoughts and emotions in a respectful and non-harmful manner, taking into account the impact of your words on others. Practicing active listening and empathy is equally important when engaging in honest communication to maintain healthy and supportive relationships.


“Listening to your needs” refers to the practice of paying attention to your own physical, emotional, and mental needs and responding to them in a healthy and supportive manner. It involves recognizing and understanding what you require to maintain your well-being and taking proactive steps to meet those needs. In the context of preventing relapse, listening to your needs is a crucial coping skill. When individuals struggle with addiction or harmful behaviors, it often stems from underlying issues, such as stress, emotional pain, trauma, or unmet needs. By developing the ability to listen to and address these needs, individuals can reduce the risk of relapse and maintain their recovery.

Start by becoming aware of your feelings, thoughts, and physical sensations. Pay attention to any signs of discomfort, triggers, or negative emotions that may indicate unmet needs. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation or journaling, can be helpful in developing self-awareness. Once you are more attuned to your internal experiences, identify the needs that may be contributing to your vulnerability to relapse. These needs can vary from person to person but may include physical well-being, emotional support, social connections, a sense of purpose, or a healthy coping mechanism for stress.Reach out to a support network, such as a therapist, counselor, or support group, to discuss your needs and challenges. They can provide guidance, empathy, and practical strategies to help you address your needs effectively. Building a strong support system is vital for maintaining recovery.

Engage in activities and practices that promote self-care and well-being. This can involve regular exercise, balanced nutrition, adequate sleep, relaxation techniques, hobbies, or creative outlets. Taking care of your physical and mental health can significantly reduce the risk of relapse. Find healthy alternatives to cope with stress, negative emotions, or triggers. This could include practicing deep breathing exercises, engaging in physical activity, listening to music, writing in a journal, or pursuing a hobby that brings you joy. Experiment with various coping strategies and identify what works best for you.Establish and maintain healthy boundaries in your relationships. Communicate your needs assertively and advocate for yourself when necessary. Learning to say “no” when it aligns with your well-being is essential in preventing relapse.

Continuously evaluate your progress, needs, and overall well-being. Regularly reflect on whether you are effectively listening to and addressing your needs or if adjustments need to be made. Flexibility and adaptability are crucial for long-term recovery. Remember that relapse prevention is a journey, and it’s normal to encounter challenges along the way. By cultivating the skill of listening to your needs and developing healthy coping strategies, you can empower yourself to navigate difficulties and reduce the likelihood of relapse. If you find yourself struggling, don’t hesitate to seek professional help and support.


The concept of “moving toward your opposite” refers to a coping skill that involves deliberately engaging in behaviors or adopting attitudes that are contrary to one’s usual tendencies or negative patterns of thinking. It is a strategy commonly used in therapy and personal development to challenge and disrupt unhelpful patterns and promote positive change. In the context of preventing relapse, “moving toward your opposite” can be a powerful tool. When individuals struggle with addiction or other harmful behaviors, they often fall into well-established patterns and routines that contribute to their difficulties. These patterns may involve specific triggers, negative thought patterns, or self-destructive behaviors.

By consciously moving toward their opposite, individuals can disrupt these patterns and create new pathways that are healthier and more conducive to recovery. This approach involves intentionally engaging in behaviors and adopting attitudes that are in direct contrast to their addictive or harmful tendencies. For example, if someone is prone to isolating themselves when experiencing stress, they could intentionally seek social support and connection instead. If someone tends to indulge in negative self-talk, they could deliberately practice self-compassion and positive affirmations.

By intentionally engaging in opposite behaviors, individuals break free from the familiar routines and patterns associated with their addiction. This disruption can help prevent relapse by creating new neural pathways and reducing the triggers that lead to unhealthy behaviors. Moving toward your opposite allows individuals to develop alternative coping strategies. By intentionally practicing healthier behaviors, they can build new skills and responses to stress, cravings, and other triggers.This approach encourages individuals to reflect on their usual tendencies and explore the underlying motivations and emotions that drive their addictive behaviors. By deliberately moving toward their opposite, individuals gain insight into their own patterns and can develop a better understanding of their triggers and vulnerabilities.

Engaging in behaviors that are contrary to one’s addictive tendencies requires effort and self-discipline. By consistently challenging themselves, individuals build resilience and strengthen their ability to resist urges and cravings. However, it’s important to note that “moving toward your opposite” should be used in conjunction with a comprehensive relapse prevention plan and under the guidance of a healthcare professional or therapist. It may not be suitable for everyone, and the appropriateness of this coping skill should be determined on an individual basis.


“Replay the scene” is a cognitive coping skill used in therapy and self-help approaches, particularly in the context of addiction recovery and preventing relapse. It involves mentally revisiting and vividly imagining a situation or scenario in which a person is at risk of engaging in the behavior they are trying to avoid. The purpose of replaying the scene is to empower individuals to navigate potential triggers, cravings, or high-risk situations more effectively by mentally rehearsing and preparing alternative, healthier responses.

The first step of this skill is to identify the specific situations, events, or people that tend to provoke cravings or behaviors associated with the addiction. It could be a particular location, social setting, emotional state, or any other factors that increase the likelihood of relapse. Once the triggers are recognized, the individual imagines themselves in the triggering situation, creating a mental movie or scene in their mind. They aim to make the visualization as detailed and realistic as possible, using their imagination to recreate the sights, sounds, smells, and emotions associated with that scenario.During the visualization, the individual pays close attention to their automatic thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations that arise in response to the trigger. By becoming aware of these automatic responses, they can better understand their personal vulnerabilities and patterns of behavior.

After observing their automatic responses, the person engages in cognitive restructuring. They challenge and reframe any distorted thoughts, irrational beliefs, or self-defeating patterns that may contribute to relapse. By identifying more adaptive, constructive thoughts, they can begin to change their perception of the triggering situation. In this stage, the individual mentally rehearses alternative responses or coping strategies in response to the trigger. They envision themselves successfully managing the situation while maintaining their commitment to sobriety or healthy behaviors. This mental practice helps reinforce new patterns of thinking and behavior.Throughout the process, the individual works on regulating their emotions, acknowledging and processing any difficult feelings that arise during the replay of the scene. Developing emotional resilience and coping skills allows them to respond more effectively when faced with triggers or cravings.

The concept of replaying the scene as a coping skill is rooted in the principles of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and mindfulness. By engaging in this technique, individuals can develop a greater sense of self-awareness, improve their ability to manage cravings and triggers, and strengthen their commitment to recovery. It’s important to note that replaying the scene is not a standalone solution but rather one tool among many in a comprehensive relapse prevention plan. Seeking professional guidance from a therapist or addiction counselor is highly recommended to tailor the technique to one’s specific needs and circ*mstances.


The concept of “notice the cost” refers to a coping skill that involves consciously recognizing and acknowledging the negative consequences or costs associated with engaging in a particular behavior or habit. It is commonly used in the context of addiction recovery to help prevent relapse.

When someone is in recovery from addiction, there are often triggers or cravings that can tempt them to revert to their previous addictive behaviors. During such moments, “notice the cost” encourages individuals to pause and reflect on the potential negative outcomes that may result from giving in to the craving. By consciously considering the repercussions of relapse, individuals can gain a clearer perspective on the long-term effects and make a more informed decision.

Here’s how “notice the cost” can be utilized as a coping skill to help prevent relapse:

  • Increased self-awareness: By practicing self-awareness, individuals can identify the thoughts, emotions, and triggers that precede their cravings or desires to engage in addictive behaviors. Recognizing these patterns allows them to intervene effectively when faced with temptations.
  • Reflect on past experiences: Remembering and reflecting on the negative consequences that addiction brought into their lives can be a powerful motivator. This may involve recalling personal stories of pain, loss, damaged relationships, or missed opportunities due to the addiction. By revisiting these experiences, individuals can reinforce their determination to avoid relapse.
  • Cost-benefit analysis: Engaging in a cost-benefit analysis can provide a rational evaluation of the potential outcomes of relapse versus the benefits of maintaining sobriety. This exercise helps individuals understand the immediate gratification of the addiction versus the long-term negative impact on their physical health, mental well-being, relationships, and overall quality of life.
  • Utilize visual reminders: Creating visual reminders of the costs associated with relapse can be helpful. This can include keeping pictures or written descriptions of the negative consequences in prominent places, such as on a refrigerator or a wallet. These reminders serve as a constant prompt to consider the potential costs when faced with temptation.
  • Seek support: Surrounding oneself with a supportive network of friends, family, or fellow recovering individuals can be instrumental in preventing relapse. By openly discussing the challenges and sharing personal experiences, individuals can reinforce their commitment to sobriety and gain encouragement from others who understand the struggle.
  • Focus on positive reinforcement: Instead of solely focusing on the negative consequences of relapse, individuals can also redirect their attention to the positive aspects of maintaining sobriety. This can involve setting goals, celebrating milestones, and engaging in activities that bring fulfillment and joy, thereby providing an alternative source of motivation.


Structuring your day refers to the practice of organizing and planning your activities and routines in a systematic manner. It involves creating a schedule or a set of routines that provide a framework for how you spend your time throughout the day. This approach can be particularly beneficial for individuals seeking to maintain stability, enhance productivity, and manage their mental well-being.

When it comes to preventing relapse, structuring your day can be a valuable coping skill. Here’s how:

  • Establishing a Routine: Building a consistent daily routine can provide stability and minimize the likelihood of impulsive or harmful behaviors. By following a structured schedule, you create a sense of predictability and purpose in your life, reducing the risk of falling back into old patterns or engaging in substance abuse.
  • Filling Your Time: One of the challenges individuals face during recovery is finding healthy and productive ways to fill their time. Boredom and idleness can be triggers for relapse. By structuring your day, you can allocate specific time slots for various activities, such as work or school commitments, exercise, hobbies, socializing, self-care, and therapy sessions. This approach helps keep your mind engaged and provides a healthier alternative to substances or negative behaviors.
  • Setting Realistic Goals: Incorporating goal-setting into your daily routine can be instrumental in preventing relapse. By breaking down larger goals into smaller, achievable tasks, you create a sense of accomplishment and progress. Setting goals not only gives you a sense of purpose but also boosts your self-esteem and motivation. It keeps you focused on positive outcomes rather than resorting to harmful coping mechanisms.
  • Prioritizing Self-Care: Structuring your day also enables you to prioritize self-care activities, which are vital for maintaining mental and emotional well-being. This can include allocating time for relaxation, meditation, practicing mindfulness, engaging in activities that bring you joy, and ensuring adequate sleep. Self-care helps reduce stress levels, enhances emotional resilience, and lowers the risk of relapse by promoting healthier coping mechanisms.
  • Accountability and Support: Incorporating structure into your day can provide a sense of accountability. By sharing your daily schedule or commitments with a trusted friend, family member, or support group, you create an external source of motivation and encouragement. They can help keep you on track, offer support, and provide feedback when needed. This sense of accountability and support can be vital in maintaining your recovery and preventing relapse.

It’s important to note that while structuring your day can be beneficial, flexibility is also crucial. Unexpected events or emotions may arise, and it’s essential to adapt your schedule accordingly without feeling overwhelmed or discouraged. Balancing structure with spontaneity allows for a healthy and realistic approach to maintaining your recovery journey.


Setting an action plan refers to the process of developing a detailed strategy or roadmap to achieve specific goals or objectives. It involves breaking down larger goals into smaller, actionable steps and creating a timeline for their completion. When it comes to coping with challenges and preventing relapse, setting an action plan can be a valuable skill to employ.

  • Identify Triggers and Warning Signs: The first step in setting an action plan is to understand the triggers and warning signs that may lead to a relapse. These can be situations, emotions, or thoughts that make it more likely for a person to engage in unhealthy or addictive behaviors. By recognizing these triggers and warning signs, individuals can create strategies to avoid or manage them effectively.
  • Set Realistic and Specific Goals: It is important to establish clear and realistic goals that align with the desired outcome. Setting specific objectives helps provide focus and direction, making it easier to measure progress. For example, a person in recovery from substance abuse may set a goal of attending support group meetings regularly or developing healthier coping mechanisms.
  • Break Goals into Actionable Steps: Once the goals are established, it is essential to break them down into manageable and actionable steps. This makes the process less overwhelming and allows individuals to take small, consistent actions towards their objectives. Breaking goals into smaller tasks also helps track progress and celebrate achievements along the way, reinforcing motivation.
  • Create a Timeline and Prioritize: Assigning a timeline to each step and prioritizing them is crucial for effective planning. Determine when each action needs to be completed and organize them in a logical order. Some steps may be dependent on others, so understanding dependencies and sequencing can enhance efficiency and keep individuals focused on their objectives.
  • Seek Support and Resources: Utilizing available support systems and resources is vital for maintaining motivation and preventing relapse. This can involve involving friends, family, therapists, or support groups who can offer guidance, encouragement, and accountability. It may also include accessing educational materials, therapy sessions, or alternative coping strategies.
  • Monitor Progress and Adapt: Regularly monitoring progress against the action plan is essential for evaluating effectiveness and making necessary adjustments. It helps individuals stay on track, identify any obstacles or challenges, and modify the plan as needed. Flexibility and adaptability are crucial in ensuring the action plan remains relevant and supportive of the overall goal.
  • Practice Self-Care: Taking care of oneself physically, mentally, and emotionally is essential to prevent relapse. Incorporate self-care activities such as exercise, proper nutrition, relaxation techniques, and engaging in enjoyable hobbies. Self-care contributes to overall well-being, reduces stress, and helps individuals maintain a positive mindset during challenging times.

Setting an action plan as a coping skill for relapse prevention provides structure, accountability, and direction. It empowers individuals to actively engage in their recovery process and increases the likelihood of long-term success. By breaking down larger goals into manageable steps, individuals can navigate their journey, anticipate challenges, and celebrate achievements along the way.


The concept of “protecting yourself and your recovery” refers to the practice of taking proactive measures to safeguard one’s well-being and maintain progress in the process of recovery from a substance use disorder or any other form of addiction. It involves adopting coping strategies, adopting healthy habits, and implementing boundaries to minimize the risk of relapse.

Protecting yourself and your recovery involves recognizing and addressing potential triggers, stressors, or situations that could jeopardize your progress. By being vigilant and proactive, individuals in recovery can build a strong foundation and enhance their resilience against relapse.

Here are some key components and strategies associated with protecting yourself and your recovery as a coping skill to help prevent relapse:

  • Self-awareness: Developing a deep understanding of your personal triggers, vulnerabilities, and patterns of behavior is essential. This self-awareness enables you to identify potential risks and take appropriate steps to manage them effectively.
  • Healthy coping mechanisms: Identifying and adopting healthy coping mechanisms is crucial. These can include engaging in activities such as exercise, mindfulness, meditation, journaling, hobbies, or spending time with supportive friends and family. These positive outlets help to reduce stress, manage emotions, and maintain mental well-being.
  • Establishing boundaries: Setting clear boundaries with individuals, environments, or situations that may pose a threat to your recovery is vital. This might involve avoiding certain people or places associated with substance use, and being assertive in communicating your needs and limitations.
  • Building a support system: Surrounding yourself with a strong support system is invaluable. This can include family, friends, support groups, or a sponsor. Having individuals who understand your journey and can offer guidance, encouragement, and accountability can significantly enhance your ability to protect your recovery.
  • Seeking professional help: Regularly attending therapy sessions or support group meetings can provide ongoing guidance and assistance. Professionals can help you develop coping strategies, address underlying issues, and provide additional tools for protecting yourself and your recovery.
  • Self-care: Prioritizing self-care is essential for overall well-being. This involves maintaining a balanced lifestyle, including adequate sleep, proper nutrition, regular exercise, and engaging in activities that bring joy and fulfillment.
  • Developing a relapse prevention plan: Working with a therapist or counselor to develop a relapse prevention plan is crucial. This plan should outline strategies, actions, and resources to help you navigate high-risk situations, cope with cravings, and manage stress effectively.

By incorporating these strategies into daily life, individuals in recovery can strengthen their resilience and minimize the risk of relapse. Remember, protecting yourself and your recovery is an ongoing process that requires commitment, self-reflection, and a willingness to seek support when needed.


The concept of “positive thoughts and self-soothing talk” involves utilizing affirmations, constructive thinking, and comforting language to promote a positive mindset and emotional well-being. It is a coping skill that can be particularly effective in preventing relapse by supporting individuals in managing stress, negative emotions, and challenging situations.

Positive thoughts refer to intentionally focusing on uplifting, optimistic, and empowering ideas. By actively directing our attention toward positive aspects of our lives and cultivating a positive outlook, we can counteract negative thoughts and emotions. This practice helps to reshape our perception of ourselves, others, and the world around us, fostering resilience and emotional stability.

Self-soothing talk involves using compassionate and comforting language when addressing ourselves. It entails talking to ourselves in a kind, understanding, and supportive manner, similar to how we might comfort a friend in distress. Self-soothing talk acknowledges our emotions, validates our experiences, and offers encouragement and reassurance during difficult times.

When used as a coping skill to prevent relapse, positive thoughts and self-soothing talk can be beneficial in the following ways:

  • Managing triggers: Positive thoughts can help reframe negative triggers, reminding us of our progress, strengths, and reasons for maintaining sobriety. Self-soothing talk can provide comfort and encouragement when faced with challenging situations or cravings.
  • Enhancing self-esteem: Positive thoughts and self-soothing talk promote a healthier self-image and increased self-worth. By focusing on our achievements, capabilities, and positive qualities, we build resilience and confidence, reducing the likelihood of relapse.
  • Shifting perspective: Positive thoughts challenge negative thinking patterns and help reframe situations in a more positive light. By actively seeking out positive aspects and reframing negative experiences, we can prevent relapse by avoiding the downward spiral of negative thoughts and emotions.
  • Emotional regulation: Self-soothing talk serves as a tool for emotional regulation, helping us acknowledge and validate our feelings while providing comfort and support. By engaging in positive self-talk during times of distress, we can effectively manage emotions and prevent them from overwhelming us.
  • Building resilience: Cultivating positive thoughts and practicing self-soothing talk builds emotional resilience, enabling individuals to cope with stress, setbacks, and challenges without resorting to unhealthy coping mechanisms. This resilience is essential in preventing relapse during difficult periods.

To effectively utilize positive thoughts and self-soothing talk, individuals can incorporate the following strategies into their daily routine:

  • Identify and challenge negative thoughts: Notice negative thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations or constructive alternatives. This process involves questioning the validity of negative thoughts and intentionally shifting focus to positive aspects.
  • Create a list of affirmations: Develop a personalized list of positive affirmations that resonate with you. These affirmations should reflect your goals, strengths, and values. Repeat them regularly, especially during challenging moments or as a daily practice.
  • Practice self-compassion: Be kind, understanding, and forgiving toward yourself. Treat yourself with the same empathy and care you would extend to a loved one. Offer words of comfort and support during difficult times.
  • Engage in mindfulness and self-reflection: Incorporate mindfulness techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or journaling into your routine. These practices help increase self-awareness, promote a positive mindset, and allow for better recognition and management of triggers.

By consistently implementing positive thoughts and self-soothing talk as coping skills, individuals can build emotional resilience, maintain a positive outlook, and reduce the risk of relapse. It is important to remember that seeking support from healthcare professionals, therapists, or support groups can complement these strategies and provide additional guidance in the recovery process.


The concept of “think of the consequences” refers to a cognitive process where individuals consider the potential outcomes or results of their actions before engaging in them. It involves reflecting on the possible positive or negative effects that a particular decision or behavior may have on oneself and others. This thought process encourages individuals to weigh the potential benefits and drawbacks of their actions and make more informed choices. Using “think of the consequences” as a coping skill can be particularly valuable in preventing relapse, especially in situations where individuals are dealing with addiction or harmful habits. Here’s how it can be applied:

  • Decision-making: When faced with a situation that may trigger relapse, individuals can consciously pause and think about the potential consequences of giving in to the temptation. By considering the negative effects such as damage to health, relationships, or personal goals, they can gain perspective and remind themselves of the reasons for wanting to stay away from harmful behaviors.
  • Anticipating triggers: Identifying triggers that have led to relapse in the past can help individuals proactively assess the consequences of succumbing to those triggers. By recognizing the potential negative outcomes and reminding themselves of the progress they have made, they can develop strategies to avoid or manage these triggers effectively.
  • Visualizing the aftermath: Imagining the consequences of relapse vividly can serve as a powerful deterrent. By mentally visualizing the potential negative outcomes, individuals can reinforce their motivation to stay on track with their recovery. This technique helps create a mental association between relapse and undesirable consequences, strengthening their resolve to make healthier choices.
  • Seeking support: Sharing thoughts and concerns about the potential consequences of relapse with a supportive network, such as friends, family, or a therapist, can provide valuable insight and perspective. Others may offer alternative viewpoints or remind individuals of the positive outcomes they have experienced during their recovery journey, reinforcing the importance of thinking through the consequences.
  • Developing coping strategies: Engaging in proactive coping strategies can be an effective way to address the potential consequences of relapse. For example, individuals can establish healthy habits, such as exercise, mindfulness, or engaging in hobbies, to occupy their time and manage stress effectively. These strategies provide positive alternatives and reduce the likelihood of turning to harmful behaviors.
  • Reflecting on past experiences: Reflecting on previous relapses and their consequences can serve as a powerful reminder. By examining the impact of past relapses on various aspects of life, individuals can reinforce their commitment to change and develop a stronger sense of accountability for their actions.

It is important to note that “think of the consequences” should not be used as a guilt-inducing or fear-based approach. Instead, it should be employed as a tool for rational decision-making and self-reflection. By considering the potential outcomes of their actions, individuals can make more conscious choices that align with their goals and aspirations, ultimately aiding in relapse prevention.


The concept of “trust the process” is often associated with personal growth, self-improvement, and overcoming challenges. It involves having faith in the journey and recognizing that progress takes time, even when faced with setbacks or uncertainty. This mindset encourages individuals to focus on the present moment and trust that their efforts will eventually lead to positive outcomes.

When applied as a coping skill to prevent relapse, “trust the process” can be a valuable mindset to adopt. Here’s how it can be beneficial:

  • Patience and perseverance: Recovery from addiction or any other challenging situation is rarely a linear path. It involves ups and downs, setbacks, and moments of doubt. By trusting the process, individuals can remain patient and persevere through difficult times, knowing that progress is being made even if it’s not immediately apparent.
  • Embracing uncertainty: The recovery journey can be filled with uncertainty, triggers, and temptations. Trusting the process allows individuals to acknowledge these challenges while maintaining a sense of stability and hope. It encourages them to focus on the daily actions and positive choices they can make, rather than getting overwhelmed by uncertainty.
  • Learning from setbacks: Relapse or setbacks can be disheartening, but “trust the process” mindset enables individuals to view them as learning opportunities rather than failures. By trusting in the overall process of recovery, they can reflect on what led to the setback, make necessary adjustments, and continue moving forward with renewed determination.
  • Building self-belief: Believing in oneself is crucial for long-term recovery. Trusting the process helps individuals develop self-confidence and self-belief by recognizing their ability to make progress and overcome challenges. This mindset shifts the focus from immediate results to personal growth and resilience, fostering a positive self-image.
  • Staying present-focused: Dwelling on past mistakes or worrying about the future can be detrimental to recovery. Trusting the process emphasizes the importance of staying present-focused and taking things one day at a time. By directing attention to the current moment and the actions needed to support recovery, individuals can reduce anxiety and maintain a sense of control.
  • Finding support: Trusting the process doesn’t mean going through recovery alone. It encourages individuals to seek and embrace support from friends, family, or support groups. Sharing the journey with others who understand and provide guidance can reinforce the belief in the process and help individuals stay motivated.


“Working the material” is a concept often used in therapy and personal growth processes to refer to the act of exploring and processing one’s emotions, experiences, and underlying issues. It involves delving deep into one’s thoughts, feelings, and memories in order to gain insight, understanding, and ultimately, healing. In the context of coping skills and relapse prevention, “working the material” can be a powerful tool. Substance abuse and addiction are often rooted in unresolved emotional pain, trauma, or underlying issues. By actively engaging in the process of working through these underlying factors, individuals can address the root causes of their addiction and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

Here are some ways in which working the material can help prevent relapse:

  • Self-reflection and awareness: Working the material encourages individuals to reflect on their emotions, triggers, and patterns of behavior. It helps build self-awareness and understanding, which is crucial for identifying potential relapse triggers and adopting effective strategies to manage them.
  • Emotional processing: Addiction can be a way of avoiding or numbing difficult emotions. By working the material, individuals can learn to recognize, validate, and express their emotions in healthier ways. This process allows them to address the emotional pain that may contribute to relapse and develop alternative coping strategies.
  • Resolving past traumas: Many individuals with addiction have experienced trauma in their lives. Working the material provides an opportunity to process and heal from these traumatic experiences. Addressing and resolving past traumas can reduce the emotional burden that often drives addictive behaviors.
  • Changing negative beliefs and thought patterns: Addiction is often accompanied by negative self-perceptions and distorted thinking patterns. Through the process of working the material, individuals can challenge and reframe these negative beliefs. By cultivating more positive and adaptive thoughts, they can build resilience and reduce the risk of relapse.
  • Developing healthier coping skills: Working the material allows individuals to explore and develop healthier coping mechanisms to replace substance use. This can include learning and practicing techniques such as mindfulness, stress management, problem-solving, and building a support network. These skills provide individuals with alternative ways to manage stress, cravings, and other triggers without resorting to substance use.


The concept of “integrate the split self” refers to the process of reconciling and unifying different aspects or parts of oneself that may feel fragmented or disconnected. It recognizes that individuals often experience internal conflicts, contradictory emotions, or conflicting identities, which can lead to a sense of being split or divided within oneself.

When it comes to coping with challenges and preventing relapse, integrating the split self can be a valuable skill. Here’s how it can be applied:

  • Self-Awareness: Integrating the split self begins with self-awareness, recognizing and acknowledging the various parts or aspects of oneself that may be in conflict. This involves understanding one’s emotions, thoughts, desires, values, and beliefs, and identifying any contradictions or discrepancies.
  • Acceptance: Acceptance is crucial in the process of integration. It involves embracing and acknowledging all parts of oneself, including the aspects that may be uncomfortable or difficult to accept. By accepting the entirety of one’s self, individuals can reduce self-judgment and self-criticism, creating a foundation for healing and growth.
  • Internal Dialogue and Reflection: Engaging in an internal dialogue and reflection can help facilitate integration. This involves actively engaging with different parts of oneself, listening to their concerns, and understanding their perspectives. By fostering open and honest communication within oneself, individuals can work towards finding common ground and resolving internal conflicts.
  • Integration Techniques: Various techniques can aid in the process of integration. Journaling, for instance, can provide a platform for self-expression, allowing individuals to explore and integrate different aspects of themselves. Mindfulness practices can also be helpful in promoting self-awareness and acceptance. Therapy or counseling with a trained professional can provide guidance and support throughout the integration process.
  • Prevention of Relapse: Integrating the split self can be an effective coping skill to help prevent relapse. By understanding and addressing the underlying conflicts and contradictions within oneself, individuals can reduce the likelihood of seeking maladaptive coping mechanisms or returning to harmful behaviors. Integration promotes self-compassion and self-care, enhancing overall emotional well-being and resilience.

It’s important to note that integrating the split self is a complex and ongoing process that may require time, patience, and support. It’s recommended to seek professional help or guidance from a therapist or counselor experienced in the areas of self-integration and relapse prevention for personalized assistance.


The concept of “focus on now” refers to directing one’s attention and energy towards the present moment, rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. It involves being fully engaged in what is happening right now, paying attention to one’s thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations, without judgment or attachment. In the context of coping skills and relapse prevention, “focus on now” can be a powerful tool. Substance abuse and addiction often stem from underlying emotional pain, stress, or trauma. By learning to focus on the present moment, individuals can cultivate a sense of mindfulness and self-awareness, which can help them navigate difficult emotions and cravings without resorting to substance use.

Here are some ways in which “focus on now” can be used as a coping skill to prevent relapse:

  • Mindfulness practice: Mindfulness involves intentionally bringing attention to the present moment and accepting it without judgment. By practicing mindfulness techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or body scans, individuals can develop the ability to observe their cravings and emotions without automatically acting on them. This awareness provides an opportunity to make conscious choices and respond in healthier ways.
  • Grounding techniques: Grounding techniques help individuals anchor themselves in the present moment by engaging their senses. This can include activities like focusing on the physical sensations of breathing, touching or holding objects, listening to soothing sounds, or noticing the details of their surroundings. Grounding techniques can help interrupt racing thoughts, reduce anxiety, and bring one’s attention back to the present moment.
  • Acceptance and letting go: Focusing on the present moment involves acknowledging and accepting one’s current thoughts, emotions, and circ*mstances. It means allowing oneself to experience discomfort without trying to escape or control it. By practicing acceptance, individuals can let go of regrets or worries about the past and reduce anxiety about the future, which are common triggers for relapse.
  • Developing healthy routines: Engaging in meaningful activities and establishing a structured routine can help maintain focus on the present. By setting goals, planning daily tasks, and participating in activities that bring joy or fulfillment, individuals can create a sense of purpose and reduce the likelihood of slipping back into harmful patterns.
  • Building a support network: Connecting with others who share similar goals and values can provide a valuable support system. Engaging in support groups, therapy, or counseling can help individuals stay grounded in the present and gain insights from others who have experienced similar struggles.


The concept of “expecting growth to feel uncomfortable” refers to the understanding that personal growth and positive change often come with feelings of discomfort, unease, and even resistance. It acknowledges that stepping out of one’s comfort zone, challenging established patterns, and embracing new behaviors can be difficult and unsettling. However, by recognizing and accepting this discomfort as a natural part of the growth process, individuals can better navigate the challenges and prevent relapse.

When applied as a coping skill, expecting growth to feel uncomfortable can be particularly beneficial for individuals who are in recovery from addiction or other behavioral issues. Here’s how it can help:

  • Managing expectations: By recognizing that growth and change may not always be smooth or pleasant, individuals can set realistic expectations for their recovery journey. This understanding helps prevent disappointment and frustration when faced with difficulties along the way.
  • Embracing discomfort: Rather than avoiding or resisting uncomfortable emotions, individuals can learn to embrace them as signs of progress. Discomfort can be viewed as a positive indicator that one is pushing boundaries and making changes, ultimately leading to personal growth.
  • Developing resilience: Expecting discomfort as a natural part of growth builds resilience. It enables individuals to face and overcome challenges, setbacks, and triggers without being deterred or giving in to old patterns of behavior. Resilience is crucial in preventing relapse by helping individuals maintain their commitment to change.
  • Building self-awareness: Embracing discomfort requires a heightened level of self-awareness. By acknowledging and exploring their feelings of discomfort, individuals gain valuable insights into their thought patterns, triggers, and vulnerabilities. This self-awareness empowers individuals to develop effective coping strategies and make conscious choices that support their recovery.
  • Seeking support: Recognizing that growth can be uncomfortable encourages individuals to reach out for support when needed. Whether it’s through therapy, support groups, or trusted friends and family, seeking support during challenging times can provide encouragement, guidance, and a sense of accountability.

It is important to note that while expecting growth to feel uncomfortable can be a useful coping skill, it should be balanced with self-care and compassion. It is crucial to practice self-care techniques, seek professional help when necessary, and be patient with oneself throughout the journey of personal growth and recovery.


The concept of “replacing destructive activities” refers to the practice of identifying and substituting harmful or negative behaviors with healthier and more positive alternatives. This approach is often used as a coping skill to help individuals prevent relapse in various contexts, such as addiction recovery, mental health management, or behavior modification.

When people engage in destructive activities, such as substance abuse, self-harm, excessive gambling, or unhealthy coping mechanisms, it can have detrimental effects on their well-being and hinder their progress toward recovery or personal growth. By replacing these destructive activities with healthier alternatives, individuals can redirect their energy and attention towards more positive and constructive behaviors.

The process of replacing destructive activities involves several steps:

  • Awareness: The first step is to become aware of the destructive activities that need to be replaced. This requires honest self-reflection and recognition of the negative consequences associated with these behaviors.
  • Identifying triggers: It’s essential to identify the triggers or underlying factors that contribute to engaging in destructive activities. These triggers could be emotional, environmental, or social in nature. By understanding the triggers, individuals can develop strategies to avoid or manage them effectively.
  • Finding healthy alternatives: Once the destructive activities and triggers are identified, it’s crucial to explore and find healthier alternatives that fulfill similar needs or provide similar benefits. For example, if someone turns to substance abuse as a way to cope with stress, they could replace it with healthier alternatives like exercise, meditation, or engaging in creative activities.
  • Building a support network: Having a supportive network of friends, family, or professionals can greatly aid in the process of replacing destructive activities. They can provide guidance, encouragement, and accountability, helping individuals stay on track and motivated to adopt healthier behaviors.
  • Practice and persistence: Replacing destructive activities is a continuous process that requires practice and persistence. It’s important to be patient with oneself and not expect immediate perfection. Gradually incorporating the healthy alternatives into daily routines and consistently choosing them over destructive behaviors is key to long-term success.
  • Using the concept of replacing destructive activities as a coping skill can be highly effective in preventing relapse. By replacing negative habits with positive ones, individuals create a healthier lifestyle and develop healthier coping mechanisms. This process not only addresses the immediate behavior but also addresses the underlying issues that contribute to destructive behaviors. Furthermore, replacing destructive activities helps individuals build resilience, enhance self-esteem, and improve overall well-being. It provides healthier outlets for stress, anxiety, or other negative emotions, reducing the reliance on harmful behaviors. However, it’s important to note that this coping skill may vary in effectiveness for different individuals and situations. Professional guidance, therapy, or support groups can be valuable resources to explore when implementing this technique, as they can offer personalized strategies and assistance in overcoming challenges along the way.


The concept of “pretending to like yourself” refers to the practice of deliberately adopting a positive attitude and self-image, even if one does not genuinely feel that way. It involves engaging in self-affirming thoughts, behaviors, and self-talk, while consciously putting aside negative self-perceptions or self-doubt. Essentially, it is a form of self-deception aimed at promoting self-acceptance and self-esteem.

When it comes to using “pretending to like yourself” as a coping skill to prevent relapse, it can be particularly beneficial for individuals struggling with conditions such as addiction, depression, or low self-esteem. Here’s how it can be helpful:

1. Building self-confidence: By pretending to like yourself, you can start developing a more positive self-image. Engaging in self-affirmations and positive self-talk can gradually build self-confidence, which is essential for maintaining mental well-being and preventing relapse.

2. Challenging negative beliefs: Pretending to like yourself involves consciously challenging negative beliefs and replacing them with more positive and empowering thoughts. Over time, this can help reframe negative self-perceptions and reduce self-destructive tendencies.

3. Promoting self-compassion: Adopting a kind and accepting attitude toward yourself, even if it feels forced at first, fosters self-compassion. It encourages individuals to treat themselves with the same level of kindness, understanding, and forgiveness they would extend to others. This can be a powerful tool in preventing relapse by reducing self-criticism and increasing resilience.

4. Shifting focus from external validation: Pretending to like yourself encourages a shift in focus from seeking external validation to cultivating internal self-worth. Relying less on others’ opinions and instead fostering self-validation can make individuals less susceptible to relapse triggers that may arise from seeking validation through substance use or other harmful behaviors.

5. Creating a positive feedback loop: Pretending to like yourself initiates a positive feedback loop. As individuals consistently engage in positive self-perceptions and self-affirming behaviors, they begin to experience the benefits of improved self-esteem and self-worth. This positive reinforcement can further strengthen their coping skills and reduce the likelihood of relapse.

It’s important to note that while “pretending to like yourself” can be a useful coping skill, it is not a substitute for addressing underlying issues or seeking professional help when needed. It should be complemented with other therapeutic approaches, such as counseling, support groups, and self-care practices, to ensure holistic recovery and long-term well-being.


The concept of “praise yourself” involves acknowledging and celebrating your own accomplishments, efforts, and positive qualities. It is a self-affirming practice that involves giving yourself credit and recognition for your achievements, progress, and personal growth. Rather than relying solely on external validation or praise from others, praising yourself focuses on building self-esteem, self-worth, and self-compassion from within.

Using self-praise as a coping skill can be an effective strategy for preventing relapse, particularly in the context of addiction recovery or mental health challenges. Here’s how it can help:

1. Building self-confidence: Praise yourself helps boost self-confidence by reminding you of your capabilities and strengths. It reinforces positive beliefs about yourself and your ability to overcome challenges. By acknowledging your accomplishments, even small ones, you cultivate a sense of self-assurance that can help you stay resilient in the face of difficulties and temptations.

2. Reinforcing positive behavior: Recognizing and praising yourself for positive actions and choices reinforces those behaviors. In the context of relapse prevention, this means acknowledging when you make healthy choices, use coping strategies, or practice self-care. Celebrating these moments reinforces the idea that you are capable of making positive changes and encourages you to continue engaging in healthy behaviors.

3. Cultivating self-compassion: Relapse often comes with feelings of guilt, shame, or self-blame. Praising yourself fosters self-compassion, which involves treating yourself with kindness and understanding, even in the face of setbacks. It helps counteract negative self-talk and encourages a more forgiving and supportive attitude toward yourself. Self-compassion can provide a buffer against relapse triggers and make it easier to bounce back from setbacks.

4. Motivation and goal-setting: Praising yourself for progress made towards your goals serves as motivation to continue working towards them. Recognizing milestones, even small ones, keeps you engaged and motivated in your recovery journey. It reinforces a positive mindset and helps you stay focused on your long-term objectives.

To effectively use self-praise as a coping skill, consider the following tips:

1. Practice self-reflection: Take time to reflect on your achievements, efforts, and personal growth. Acknowledge the progress you’ve made, no matter how small it may seem.

2. Be specific and genuine: When praising yourself, be specific about what you’re recognizing. Rather than generic statements, focus on concrete actions, choices, or qualities. This reinforces a sense of authenticity and encourages self-awareness.

3. Make it a habit: Incorporate self-praise into your daily routine. Set aside dedicated moments to reflect on your accomplishments or write them down in a gratitude journal. Over time, this habit can boost your self-esteem and create a more positive self-perception.

4. Celebrate milestones: When you reach significant milestones or achieve your goals, celebrate your accomplishments. Treat yourself to something meaningful or engage in an activity that brings you joy. This reinforces a sense of pride and satisfaction in your progress.

It’s important to note that while self-praise can be a helpful coping skill, it’s not a substitute for seeking support from others, such as therapists, support groups, or loved ones. Building a strong support network is essential for long-term recovery and well-being.


Observing repeating patterns refers to the act of recognizing and understanding recurrent behaviors, events, or circ*mstances that occur in one’s life or in the world around them. These patterns can manifest in various forms, such as emotional states, relationship dynamics, thought processes, or external triggers. By carefully observing and discerning these patterns, individuals can gain valuable insights into their own experiences and make informed decisions to address challenges and prevent relapse in the context of addiction or other personal struggles.

Using observing repeating patterns as a coping skill involves several key steps:

1. Self-awareness: Developing self-awareness is essential to recognizing and understanding repeating patterns. It involves being attuned to one’s thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and triggers. By cultivating mindfulness and introspection, individuals can begin to identify recurring themes or cycles in their lives.

2. Identifying triggers: Triggers are specific stimuli or situations that can lead to negative emotions, cravings, or behaviors associated with relapse. By observing repeating patterns, individuals can identify common triggers and gain insight into the circ*mstances that contribute to their vulnerability. This allows them to proactively avoid or effectively cope with triggers when they arise.

3. Recognizing patterns: By analyzing past experiences, individuals can start recognizing patterns in their thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and external factors. For example, they may notice that certain negative emotions consistently precede relapse or that specific types of stressors tend to recur. Identifying these patterns helps individuals anticipate potential relapse risks and implement strategies to mitigate them.

4. Developing coping strategies: Armed with an understanding of repeating patterns and triggers, individuals can develop effective coping strategies. For instance, if they notice that feelings of loneliness often precede relapse, they can proactively seek social support or engage in activities that foster connection. By tailoring coping strategies to address specific patterns, individuals can build resilience and reduce the likelihood of relapse.

5. Modifying behavior: Observing repeating patterns empowers individuals to make informed decisions and modify their behavior accordingly. For example, if they notice that certain environments consistently lead to relapse, they can take steps to avoid or change those environments. This process of self-reflection and adaptation allows individuals to break free from negative cycles and make healthier choices.

6. Seeking support: It is crucial to recognize that observing repeating patterns and preventing relapse is not a solitary endeavor. Seeking support from healthcare professionals, therapists, support groups, or loved ones can provide additional perspectives and guidance. These supportive relationships can help individuals maintain motivation, accountability, and access to additional coping skills.

By incorporating observing repeating patterns as a coping skill, individuals can gain valuable insights into their own experiences, anticipate potential challenges, and take proactive steps to prevent relapse. It is an ongoing process that requires self-awareness, reflection, and a willingness to adapt behaviors and environments. Through this practice, individuals can cultivate resilience and build a solid foundation for long-term recovery.


The concept of “self-nurture” involves engaging in activities and behaviors that promote self-care, self-compassion, and personal growth. It encompasses taking deliberate steps to meet your physical, emotional, and psychological needs in order to maintain well-being and prevent relapse.

When it comes to coping with challenging circ*mstances or the risk of relapse, self-nurture plays a crucial role. Here are some ways in which self-nurture can be used as a coping skill to help prevent relapse:

1. Self-Care Practices: Engaging in regular self-care activities, such as maintaining a healthy diet, getting enough sleep, exercising, and practicing good hygiene, is essential for overall well-being. Taking care of your physical health can positively impact your mental and emotional state, reducing the vulnerability to relapse.

2. Emotional Regulation: Self-nurture involves acknowledging and expressing emotions in healthy ways. This can include engaging in activities that bring you joy, such as hobbies, creative outlets, or spending time in nature. Additionally, practicing mindfulness or relaxation techniques can help you manage stress, anxiety, and other triggers that may contribute to relapse.

3. Setting Boundaries: Self-nurture requires setting and enforcing healthy boundaries in relationships and situations. It involves prioritizing your needs and values, saying “no” when necessary, and surrounding yourself with supportive and understanding individuals. Setting boundaries helps reduce external pressures that could potentially lead to relapse.

4. Self-Compassion and Positive Self-Talk: Self-nurture involves cultivating self-compassion and practicing positive self-talk. This means being kind and understanding towards yourself, acknowledging your progress, and reframing negative thoughts or self-judgment. By nurturing a positive self-image and treating yourself with compassion, you build resilience and reduce the risk of relapse.

5. Seeking Support: Self-nurture includes recognizing when you need support and reaching out for help when necessary. This can involve seeking guidance from a therapist, counselor, or support group, who can provide valuable insights, coping strategies, and a non-judgmental space to express your concerns. Surrounding yourself with a supportive network is crucial in preventing relapse.

By incorporating self-nurture into your daily life, you actively prioritize your well-being and create a foundation for maintaining sobriety or managing any other challenges you may face. Remember that self-nurture is an ongoing process, and it may require experimentation and adaptation to find what works best for you.


“Practicing delay” refers to the intentional act of postponing or abstaining from an immediate response or action in order to allow for greater reflection, consideration, or self-control. It involves resisting the urge for instant gratification or impulsive behavior and instead opting for a deliberate delay in order to make more thoughtful and informed decisions.

When applied as a coping skill to prevent relapse, practicing delay can be highly effective. This approach is commonly employed in various forms of addiction recovery, where individuals work to maintain sobriety and avoid falling back into addictive behaviors. By consciously delaying the impulse to engage in harmful or destructive actions, individuals give themselves the opportunity to employ healthier coping mechanisms and make choices that align with their long-term goals and well-being.

Here are a few ways practicing delay can help prevent relapse:

1. Increased self-awareness: By practicing delay, individuals develop greater self-awareness of their triggers, cravings, and emotional states. This awareness enables them to recognize when they are at risk of relapse and empowers them to pause and consider alternative options before acting on impulses.

2. Emotional regulation: Delaying an immediate response allows individuals to regulate their emotions effectively. It provides a chance to calm down, engage in deep breathing exercises, practice mindfulness, or engage in other self-soothing techniques. This helps individuals avoid making impulsive decisions driven by strong emotions that may lead to relapse.

3. Thoughtful decision-making: Taking the time to delay actions allows individuals to think through the potential consequences of their choices. They can weigh the short-term benefits against the long-term effects and make decisions that align with their recovery goals. Practicing delay provides a buffer between the initial impulse and the action, allowing for more thoughtful decision-making.

4. Seeking support: Delaying an immediate response can also give individuals the opportunity to reach out for support. They can contact a sponsor, therapist, or supportive friend who can provide guidance, encouragement, and accountability during challenging times. This additional support system can help individuals overcome urges and prevent relapse.

5. Building resilience: Practicing delay strengthens an individual’s ability to tolerate discomfort and resist instant gratification. By consistently delaying impulsive actions, individuals develop resilience and improve their capacity to face and manage cravings and triggers effectively.

To effectively incorporate practicing delay as a coping skill, individuals should identify their specific triggers and develop a plan of action for when those triggers arise. This may include implementing strategies such as distraction techniques, engaging in healthy activities, or using relaxation exercises to delay the urge to engage in relapse-prone behaviors.

It’s important to note that practicing delay is not about denying oneself entirely or suppressing natural emotions and desires. It’s about creating a space for mindful decision-making and consciously choosing actions that support long-term well-being and recovery. It requires practice, patience, and self-compassion, but it can significantly enhance an individual’s ability to prevent relapse and lead a healthier, more fulfilling life.


“Letting go of destructive relationships” refers to the process of consciously and willingly disengaging from toxic, harmful, or unhealthy relationships. It involves recognizing that a particular relationship is detrimental to one’s well-being and making a deliberate decision to sever ties, set boundaries, and move on from that connection.

As a coping skill to prevent relapse, letting go of destructive relationships can be highly effective. Here’s how it can contribute to maintaining a healthy and balanced life:

1. Removing triggers and negative influences: Destructive relationships often involve negative patterns, emotional abuse, manipulation, or substance abuse. By letting go of such relationships, individuals can eliminate triggers that can potentially lead to relapse. It creates a safer and more supportive environment conducive to recovery.

2. Promoting self-care and personal growth: Ending destructive relationships allows individuals to redirect their energy towards self-care and personal growth. They can focus on rebuilding their self-esteem, setting healthy boundaries, and engaging in activities that promote overall well-being. This process fosters a sense of self-worth and provides a solid foundation for recovery.

3. Surrounding oneself with positive influences: Letting go of destructive relationships opens up space for healthier connections. By seeking out positive, supportive, and understanding individuals, individuals in recovery can build a strong support network. These relationships can offer encouragement, guidance, and reinforcement of healthy behaviors, reducing the risk of relapse.

4. Enhancing emotional well-being: Destructive relationships often lead to emotional distress, anxiety, and depression. By severing ties with toxic individuals, individuals in recovery can experience a significant improvement in their emotional well-being. This can contribute to more stable mental health, reducing the vulnerability to relapse triggers.

5. Reinforcing commitment to recovery: Letting go of destructive relationships signifies a commitment to one’s own well-being and recovery journey. It demonstrates a willingness to prioritize personal growth and make choices that align with long-term goals. This act of self-determination strengthens one’s resolve to stay on the path of recovery and reduces the likelihood of relapse.

It is important to note that letting go of destructive relationships can be challenging, as it may involve difficult emotions, grief, and feelings of loneliness. Seeking support from therapists, support groups, or other individuals who have been through similar experiences can provide invaluable guidance and encouragement throughout the process.

In conclusion, letting go of destructive relationships is a coping skill that can significantly contribute to preventing relapse. By removing negative influences, promoting self-care and personal growth, surrounding oneself with positive influences, enhancing emotional well-being, and reinforcing commitment to recovery, individuals can create a healthier and more supportive environment that fosters long-term sobriety and well-being.


Taking responsibility refers to acknowledging and accepting accountability for one’s actions, choices, and their consequences. It involves recognizing that we have control over our own lives and the power to make decisions that can positively or negatively impact ourselves and others. Taking responsibility means owning up to our mistakes, learning from them, and actively working towards making amends or improving our situation.

In the context of coping skills to prevent relapse, taking responsibility plays a crucial role. It involves recognizing that we have the power to change our behaviors, attitudes, and circ*mstances. When dealing with addiction or any other challenging situation, taking responsibility can be a transformative and empowering process. Here’s how it can be utilized as a coping skill to help prevent relapse:

1. Self-awareness: Taking responsibility requires self-awareness, which involves understanding one’s triggers, vulnerabilities, and patterns of behavior. By acknowledging our own weaknesses and limitations, we become better equipped to identify potential relapse risks and take proactive steps to prevent them.

2. Ownership of choices: Recognizing that we have made choices that led us down the path of addiction is an essential aspect of taking responsibility. It means accepting that our decisions, regardless of external influences, ultimately shape our lives. By embracing this ownership, we empower ourselves to make different choices in the future and break the cycle of addiction.

3. Accountability and commitment: Taking responsibility involves being accountable for our actions and committed to change. It means acknowledging the harm caused by our addiction, both to ourselves and others, and making a conscious decision to do better. By holding ourselves accountable, we become more motivated to maintain sobriety and avoid relapse.

4. Seeking support: Taking responsibility doesn’t mean facing challenges alone. It’s important to reach out for support from trusted individuals, such as friends, family, or support groups. Sharing our struggles and progress with others can provide valuable guidance, encouragement, and accountability, strengthening our commitment to staying sober.

5. Learning from mistakes: Relapse can be discouraging, but taking responsibility means using setbacks as learning opportunities. Instead of dwelling on failure, it’s important to analyze what led to the relapse and identify strategies to prevent it in the future. This mindset shift allows for personal growth and development of effective coping mechanisms.

6. Making amends: Part of taking responsibility is making amends for past actions that may have harmed ourselves or others. This can involve apologizing, making restitution, or working towards rebuilding relationships. By taking these steps, we demonstrate our commitment to change and foster healing and reconciliation.

Overall, taking responsibility is a powerful coping skill to prevent relapse. It empowers individuals to take control of their lives, make positive choices, and learn from their mistakes. By cultivating self-awareness, accountability, and a commitment to change, individuals can navigate the challenges of recovery more effectively and reduce the likelihood of relapse.


The concept of “setting a deadline” refers to establishing a specific date or time by which a particular task, goal, or objective must be completed. Deadlines serve as a means to create a sense of urgency and structure, helping individuals stay focused and motivated to accomplish their intended outcomes within a defined timeframe.

In the context of preventing relapse, setting deadlines can be a useful coping skill. Relapse often occurs in the context of addictive behaviors or unhealthy habits that individuals are trying to overcome. By setting deadlines, individuals can establish clear boundaries and goals for themselves, providing a roadmap for their recovery journey. Here’s how using deadlines as a coping skill can be helpful in preventing relapse:

1. Goal Orientation: Setting deadlines enables individuals to define specific goals related to their recovery process. These goals can range from abstaining from substances or unhealthy behaviors to engaging in positive activities or developing healthier habits. By setting clear deadlines for achieving these goals, individuals have a tangible target to work toward and can stay focused on their recovery efforts.

2. Accountability: Deadlines create a sense of accountability. When individuals set deadlines, they commit to a specific timeframe, which holds them responsible for their actions. This accountability can serve as a powerful motivator, as individuals strive to meet their deadlines and avoid relapse.

3. Time Management: Setting deadlines helps individuals manage their time effectively. Recovery requires consistency and dedication, and allocating time for recovery-related activities is crucial. By setting deadlines for tasks like attending support group meetings, therapy sessions, self-reflection, or engaging in self-care activities, individuals can ensure they prioritize their recovery and make it a part of their routine.

4. Sense of Achievement: Meeting deadlines provides a sense of accomplishment and reinforces positive behavior. Each time a deadline is met, it serves as a reminder of progress and success in the recovery journey. These small victories can boost confidence, self-esteem, and the motivation to continue working toward long-term recovery goals, reducing the risk of relapse.

5. Stress Reduction: Deadlines help individuals organize their recovery efforts, reducing uncertainty and anxiety. Having a clear plan and timeline can alleviate the overwhelming feeling of uncertainty often associated with recovery. When individuals have a structured approach, they are less likely to feel overwhelmed, which can contribute to better emotional well-being and decreased vulnerability to relapse triggers.

While setting deadlines can be beneficial, it is important to approach them with flexibility and self-compassion. Recovery is a unique and personal process, and setbacks or delays may occur. Adjusting deadlines or readjusting goals in response to changing circ*mstances is crucial to maintaining a healthy recovery journey. Additionally, seeking support from professionals, peers, or support groups can provide guidance and encouragement throughout the process.


Making a commitment refers to a conscious decision or promise to oneself or others to engage in a particular action or behavior. It involves dedicating oneself to a course of action, often with a sense of dedication and responsibility. In the context of preventing relapse, making a commitment can be a powerful coping skill that helps individuals maintain their recovery from addiction, manage mental health challenges, or achieve other personal goals.

When it comes to preventing relapse, making a commitment serves as a proactive strategy to reinforce one’s recovery efforts. Here are a few ways in which making a commitment can be an effective coping skill:

1. Establishing goals: Making a commitment involves setting clear goals and objectives for oneself. By defining specific targets related to recovery, individuals create a sense of purpose and direction, which can be instrumental in preventing relapse. These goals can include maintaining sobriety, attending support group meetings regularly, engaging in therapy, practicing self-care, or developing healthy coping mechanisms.

2. Strengthening motivation: Making a commitment helps individuals tap into their intrinsic motivation and determination. By consciously deciding to prioritize their recovery, individuals reinforce their commitment to abstain from addictive substances or behaviors. This heightened motivation can act as a powerful deterrent against relapse, providing individuals with a reason to stay focused on their recovery journey.

3. Building accountability: When making a commitment, individuals often involve others in their recovery process, such as friends, family, or support groups. By sharing their goals and intentions with a trusted network, individuals create a sense of accountability. This accountability can serve as a protective factor against relapse, as the support system can provide encouragement, assistance, and reminders to stay on track.

4. Creating a routine: Committing to a structured routine can help individuals establish healthy habits and reduce the likelihood of relapse. By incorporating activities that support recovery, such as regular exercise, meditation, therapy sessions, or attending support group meetings, individuals create a framework that promotes stability and minimizes opportunities for relapse.

5. Developing resilience: Making a commitment to recovery involves acknowledging that setbacks and challenges may occur along the way. This commitment helps individuals develop resilience, which is the ability to bounce back from difficult situations. By accepting that relapse might be a possibility but committing to learning from setbacks and continuing the recovery journey, individuals can overcome obstacles and build stronger coping skills.

6. Seeking ongoing support: Making a commitment to prevent relapse often involves recognizing the importance of ongoing support. It can mean seeking professional help, engaging in therapy, attending support groups, or having a mentor or sponsor. This commitment to seeking support fosters a sense of connection and provides individuals with resources and guidance during challenging times.

In summary, making a commitment is a powerful coping skill to prevent relapse. By establishing clear goals, strengthening motivation, building accountability, creating a routine, developing resilience, and seeking ongoing support, individuals can enhance their chances of maintaining long-term recovery and managing the challenges associated with addiction or other mental health concerns.


The concept of “rethink” refers to a cognitive process of reevaluating or reexamining one’s thoughts, beliefs, or perspectives. It involves stepping back from automatic or habitual thinking patterns and actively engaging in a critical analysis of one’s thoughts and assumptions. The purpose of rethinking is to challenge and potentially modify unhelpful or negative thinking patterns, thereby promoting personal growth, resilience, and well-being.

In the context of coping skills to prevent relapse, “rethink” can be a powerful tool. Substance abuse or addictive behaviors are often fueled by distorted thinking patterns, such as rationalizations, justifications, or minimizing the negative consequences of one’s actions. By actively engaging in the process of rethinking, individuals can challenge these distorted thoughts and beliefs, leading to a more accurate perception of their behavior and its impact on their lives.

Here are some ways in which “rethink” can be used as a coping skill to help prevent relapse:

1. Cognitive Restructuring: Rethinking involves identifying and challenging negative or distorted thoughts related to substance abuse. This technique, known as cognitive restructuring, allows individuals to replace harmful thoughts with more realistic and positive ones. For example, instead of thinking, “I can’t handle stress without using drugs,” they can reframe it as, “I have successfully managed stress in the past without drugs, and I can do it again.”

2. Trigger Identification: Relapse triggers are events, situations, or emotions that increase the risk of returning to addictive behaviors. By rethinking triggers, individuals can gain a better understanding of their impact and develop strategies to cope effectively. Rethinking triggers involves examining the thoughts and beliefs associated with them, challenging any irrational or unhelpful aspects, and creating alternative responses or coping mechanisms.

3. Behavioral Analysis: Rethinking also involves examining the connection between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. By identifying the thoughts that precede or accompany substance abuse or addictive behaviors, individuals can interrupt the cycle and develop healthier coping strategies. This process allows for a more objective evaluation of the costs and benefits associated with substance use, enabling individuals to make more informed choices.

4. Mindfulness and Awareness: Rethinking requires cultivating a sense of mindfulness and self-awareness. Mindfulness involves paying attention to the present moment without judgment, while self-awareness involves recognizing one’s thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. By practicing mindfulness and self-awareness, individuals can observe their thoughts without immediately acting on them, allowing for a pause that creates an opportunity for more reasoned and deliberate responses.

5. Seeking Support: Rethinking can be facilitated through seeking support from others, such as therapists, support groups, or trusted friends and family members. Engaging in conversations about one’s thoughts, beliefs, and struggles with substance abuse can provide alternative perspectives, challenge distorted thinking, and offer new insights. The support of others can help individuals maintain motivation, gain fresh perspectives, and reinforce healthier ways of thinking and behaving.

It’s important to note that “rethink” is just one coping skill among many that can be useful in preventing relapse. Combining “rethink” with other strategies, such as developing a strong support network, practicing self-care, engaging in healthy activities, and adopting a comprehensive relapse prevention plan, can significantly enhance one’s chances of maintaining long-term recovery.


Detaching from emotional pain is a concept often associated with mindfulness and coping strategies used to manage intense emotions and prevent relapse. It involves creating a mental and emotional distance from the pain or distressing emotions one is experiencing. By detaching, individuals aim to observe their emotions without judgment or becoming overwhelmed by them, allowing them to regain a sense of control and perspective.

As a grounding technique, detaching from emotional pain can help individuals stay present in the current moment and prevent them from being consumed by negative emotions. Here’s how it can be practiced:

1. Awareness: Recognize and acknowledge the presence of emotional pain. Understand that pain is a natural part of life, and it is temporary.

2. Mindful observation: Instead of resisting or avoiding the pain, observe it objectively. Imagine stepping back from the emotion and viewing it from a distance, as if watching it in a movie or observing it in a detached manner.

3. Non-identification: Avoid identifying with the pain or allowing it to define your entire being. Remind yourself that you are more than your emotions and that they do not have to control your actions or thoughts.

4. Acceptance: Accept the presence of emotional pain without judgment. Understand that experiencing pain is a normal human experience and that it doesn’t reflect personal failure or weakness.

5. Self-compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding. Offer yourself the same compassion you would extend to a friend going through a difficult time. Remind yourself that pain is a part of the human condition, and you deserve compassion and support.

Detaching from emotional pain can be an effective coping skill to help prevent relapse in various situations, such as addiction recovery, managing mental health conditions, or dealing with stressful life events. Here’s how it can contribute to relapse prevention:

1. Emotional regulation: By detaching from emotional pain, individuals gain the ability to regulate their emotions effectively. They can observe their feelings without being overwhelmed by them, allowing for clearer thinking and better decision-making.

2. Reduced impulsivity: Detaching from emotional pain helps individuals create a pause between their emotions and their actions. It prevents impulsive and potentially harmful reactions that could lead to relapse. By practicing detachment, individuals can respond to challenging situations more thoughtfully and intentionally.

3. Increased self-awareness: Detachment enables individuals to become more self-aware and develop a deeper understanding of their triggers, vulnerabilities, and coping mechanisms. With this insight, they can make healthier choices and engage in proactive strategies to prevent relapse.

4. Perspective and objectivity: Detaching from emotional pain allows individuals to gain perspective and view their emotions from a more objective standpoint. This broader perspective helps to challenge negative thoughts or distorted perceptions, reducing the likelihood of relapse.

5. Resilience-building: Detaching from emotional pain fosters resilience by helping individuals develop the capacity to navigate difficult emotions without resorting to unhealthy coping mechanisms. It encourages the cultivation of healthier strategies, such as seeking support, engaging in self-care, or practicing relaxation techniques.

It’s important to note that detaching from emotional pain does not mean suppressing or denying emotions. It is a skill that allows individuals to observe and process their emotions in a healthier and more constructive way, promoting emotional well-being and reducing the risk of relapse. Seeking guidance from mental health professionals can be beneficial in developing and refining these coping skills.


The concept of “learning from experience” refers to the process of gaining knowledge, insights, and skills through personal encounters, observations, and reflections. It involves recognizing patterns, understanding cause-and-effect relationships, and adapting behavior based on previous encounters and outcomes. In the context of preventing relapse, learning from experience can be utilized as a reinforcement technique and coping skill to enhance one’s ability to maintain positive changes and avoid returning to undesired behaviors or habits.

As a reinforcement technique, learning from experience involves actively acknowledging and internalizing the lessons learned from past successes and failures. It emphasizes the importance of reflecting on previous experiences, analyzing what worked and what didn’t, and using that knowledge to guide future decisions and actions. By focusing on personal experiences and their outcomes, individuals can reinforce positive behaviors and avoid repeating mistakes that may lead to relapse.

Learning from experience can also serve as a coping skill in relapse prevention. It enables individuals to develop a greater sense of self-awareness and self-reflection, leading to a deeper understanding of their triggers, vulnerabilities, and coping mechanisms. By recognizing patterns and understanding how certain situations or emotions may contribute to relapse, individuals can proactively identify strategies to cope with these challenges effectively.

Here are some practical steps for utilizing learning from experience as a reinforcement technique and coping skill in preventing relapse:

1. Reflect on past experiences: Take time to reflect on previous attempts at change, both successful and unsuccessful. Identify the factors that contributed to success or led to relapse.

2. Analyze triggers and vulnerabilities: Identify the triggers or situations that may have influenced past relapses. Determine personal vulnerabilities or emotional states that make one more susceptible to relapse.

3. Develop coping strategies: Based on the analysis of triggers and vulnerabilities, create a toolbox of coping strategies to deal with challenging situations. These strategies can include stress management techniques, seeking support from others, practicing self-care, or engaging in alternative activities.

4. Establish a support network: Surround yourself with individuals who can provide encouragement, guidance, and accountability. Engage in support groups, therapy, or mentorship programs to gain additional insights and perspectives.

5. Practice mindfulness and self-awareness: Cultivate mindfulness practices to increase self-awareness and develop a better understanding of one’s thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Mindfulness can help identify potential relapse warning signs and enable proactive intervention.

6. Learn from setbacks: Relapses can happen, and it is important to view them as learning opportunities rather than failures. Analyze the factors that contributed to the relapse and use this knowledge to make adjustments and refine coping strategies for future situations.

7. Set realistic goals: Establish realistic and achievable goals that align with personal values and priorities. Break down larger goals into smaller, manageable steps to maintain motivation and track progress effectively.

By actively learning from past experiences, individuals can build a solid foundation for relapse prevention. This approach encourages personal growth, self-reflection, and the development of effective coping mechanisms, ultimately enhancing the chances of long-term success in sustaining positive changes and avoiding relapse.


Problem solving is the cognitive process of finding solutions to challenges or difficulties encountered in various aspects of life. It involves identifying a problem, analyzing its underlying causes, generating potential solutions, evaluating the pros and cons of each option, and selecting the most appropriate course of action. Problem solving requires critical thinking, creativity, and decision-making skills.

When it comes to preventing relapse, problem solving can be a valuable coping skill. Relapse refers to the recurrence of problematic behaviors, such as addiction, after a period of improvement or recovery. By employing problem-solving techniques, individuals can address the underlying issues that may trigger or contribute to relapse and develop strategies to overcome them.

Here are some ways in which problem solving can be applied as a coping skill to help prevent relapse:

1. Identifying triggers and high-risk situations: Problem solving begins with recognizing the factors that may lead to relapse. This includes identifying environmental cues, social pressures, emotional states, or specific events that have historically been associated with addictive behaviors. By pinpointing these triggers, individuals can develop strategies to avoid or cope with them effectively.

2. Analyzing underlying causes: Once triggers are identified, it is important to explore the underlying causes or root factors contributing to addiction. This may involve examining emotional, psychological, or social issues that may be driving the addictive behavior. Problem solving helps individuals gain insight into these causes and develop appropriate interventions or strategies to address them.

3. Generating alternative solutions: Problem solving encourages the generation of multiple potential solutions to a given problem. In the context of relapse prevention, this may involve brainstorming various strategies or coping mechanisms to deal with triggers and underlying issues. The goal is to explore different options and consider their potential effectiveness in addressing the problem at hand.

4. Evaluating pros and cons: Once potential solutions are generated, it is essential to evaluate the advantages and disadvantages of each option. This evaluation should be based on factors such as feasibility, potential risks, long-term benefits, and personal values. By carefully weighing the pros and cons, individuals can make informed decisions about which strategies are most likely to help prevent relapse.

5. Implementing and monitoring solutions: After selecting the most suitable solution(s), the next step is to put them into action. Implementation involves setting realistic goals, creating a plan, and taking proactive steps to avoid triggers and address underlying issues. Regular monitoring and evaluation of the effectiveness of the chosen solutions allow individuals to make necessary adjustments and improvements as needed.

6. Seeking support: Problem solving doesn’t have to be a solitary endeavor. Seeking support from friends, family, support groups, or professionals can provide additional perspectives, guidance, and accountability. Engaging in therapy or counseling can be particularly beneficial, as therapists can assist in the problem-solving process and help individuals develop effective relapse prevention strategies.

By utilizing problem-solving techniques as a coping skill, individuals can gain a sense of control over their recovery journey. It helps them proactively address challenges, reduce the likelihood of relapse, and develop healthy coping mechanisms to manage stress and triggers effectively. However, it is important to remember that relapse prevention is a complex process, and seeking professional help and support is crucial for long-term success.


“Using kinder language” refers to the practice of employing gentle, compassionate, and non-judgmental language when communicating with oneself or others. It involves choosing words and phrases that are supportive, understanding, and respectful, rather than critical or harsh.

As a coping skill, using kinder language can be particularly helpful in preventing relapse, especially in situations where individuals may be prone to negative self-talk, self-criticism, or feelings of guilt and shame. Here’s how it can contribute to relapse prevention:

1. Self-Compassion: Adopting kinder language encourages self-compassion, which involves treating oneself with kindness, understanding, and acceptance. Instead of berating oneself for perceived shortcomings or mistakes, individuals learn to respond with self-soothing and comforting language. This fosters a more positive self-image and reduces the likelihood of engaging in self-destructive behaviors that can lead to relapse.

2. Emotional Regulation: Relapse often occurs in response to intense emotions or distressing situations. Using kinder language helps individuals manage their emotions more effectively by promoting self-soothing and self-care. By acknowledging and validating their feelings with gentle words, individuals can develop healthier coping mechanisms instead of resorting to substance use as a means of escape.

3. Cognitive Restructuring: Negative and critical self-talk can contribute to negative thought patterns and beliefs that perpetuate addictive behaviors. Kinder language allows for cognitive restructuring by challenging and replacing negative thoughts with more realistic and positive ones. This process enables individuals to develop a healthier mindset and make more constructive choices, reducing the risk of relapse.

4. Enhanced Motivation: Shaming or judging oneself harshly often leads to feelings of hopelessness and demotivation. In contrast, using kinder language can foster a sense of motivation, self-worth, and optimism. By encouraging individuals to focus on their strengths, accomplishments, and progress, kinder language provides a more empowering perspective, increasing their resilience and determination to stay on the path of recovery.

5. Improved Relationships: Using kinder language extends beyond self-talk and applies to interpersonal communication as well. When interacting with others, employing gentle and respectful language can foster healthier relationships, reduce conflicts, and create a supportive environment. Positive social connections and a strong support system are crucial in maintaining sobriety and preventing relapse.

Overall, using kinder language as a coping skill promotes self-compassion, emotional regulation, cognitive restructuring, motivation, and healthier relationships. By cultivating a more compassionate and understanding internal dialogue, individuals can strengthen their resilience, reduce the risk of relapse, and enhance their overall well-being in recovery.


“Examining the evidence” is a cognitive restructuring technique that involves critically evaluating the accuracy and validity of one’s thoughts, beliefs, and perceptions by gathering objective evidence or alternative perspectives. It is a cognitive skill commonly used in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) to challenge and reframe negative or irrational thinking patterns.

When applied as a coping skill to prevent relapse, examining the evidence can be particularly useful for individuals struggling with addictive behaviors or mental health issues. Here’s how it can be used effectively:

1. Identifying automatic thoughts: Examining the evidence begins by identifying automatic thoughts or beliefs that contribute to negative emotions or behaviors. These thoughts are often distorted or biased, such as black-and-white thinking, catastrophizing, or overgeneralization.

2. Gathering evidence: Once the automatic thoughts are identified, the next step is to collect objective evidence to support or contradict those thoughts. This evidence can be obtained through personal experiences, factual information, or alternative perspectives from trusted sources, friends, or professionals.

3. Evaluating the evidence: In this stage, the individual objectively evaluates the gathered evidence to determine its validity and accuracy. This includes considering the source, checking for cognitive biases, and assessing whether the evidence aligns with reality.

4. Challenging and reframing thoughts: Based on the evaluation of the evidence, the individual can challenge and reframe their initial thoughts or beliefs. This involves replacing irrational or negative thoughts with more realistic, balanced, and constructive ones.

5. Developing alternative perspectives: Examining the evidence encourages individuals to consider alternative perspectives or explanations for a given situation. This helps in broadening their understanding, reducing cognitive rigidity, and fostering empathy towards themselves and others.

By consistently using examining the evidence as a cognitive restructuring tool and coping skill, individuals can achieve several benefits that aid in preventing relapse:

a. Increased self-awareness: It helps individuals become more aware of their automatic thoughts and underlying assumptions, enabling them to recognize triggers and early warning signs of relapse.

b. Enhanced critical thinking: It promotes the development of critical thinking skills, enabling individuals to question their thoughts and beliefs instead of accepting them without scrutiny.

c. Reduced cognitive distortions: Examining the evidence helps identify and challenge cognitive distortions or biases, such as all-or-nothing thinking, mind reading, or emotional reasoning, which can contribute to relapse.

d. Improved problem-solving: By evaluating evidence and considering alternative perspectives, individuals can develop better problem-solving skills and make more informed decisions, reducing impulsive or maladaptive behaviors.

e. Increased resilience: Examining the evidence empowers individuals to confront and reframe negative thoughts, fostering resilience and adaptive coping mechanisms in the face of stressors or triggers.

In summary, examining the evidence is a cognitive restructuring technique that involves critically evaluating thoughts and beliefs by gathering objective evidence. When used as a coping skill, it can help individuals prevent relapse by challenging and reframing negative or irrational thinking patterns, fostering self-awareness, critical thinking, and resilience.


“Planning it out” refers to the process of creating a detailed and structured plan to achieve a specific goal or navigate through a particular situation. It involves breaking down the goal or situation into smaller, manageable steps and outlining the necessary actions, resources, and timelines required to accomplish it. Planning provides a framework that helps individuals organize their thoughts, prioritize tasks, and stay focused on their objectives.

When it comes to using planning as a coping skill to prevent relapse, it can be highly beneficial for individuals who are recovering from addiction or struggling with harmful behaviors. Here’s how planning can help:

1. Goal Clarity: Planning allows individuals to define their recovery goals with clarity. By identifying what they want to achieve and mapping out the steps needed to get there, they gain a sense of direction and purpose. This clarity helps reduce ambiguity and increases motivation.

2. Structured Approach: Planning provides a structured approach to recovery. Breaking down the journey into smaller, achievable steps makes the process less overwhelming. It allows individuals to focus on one task at a time, reducing the chances of feeling overwhelmed and discouraged.

3. Identifying Triggers and High-Risk Situations: Through planning, individuals can identify potential triggers or high-risk situations that may lead to relapse. By recognizing these challenges in advance, they can strategize and develop coping mechanisms to navigate through them effectively.

4. Developing Coping Strategies: Planning provides an opportunity to develop specific coping strategies for different situations. Individuals can brainstorm and research various techniques, such as relaxation exercises, seeking support from a counselor or support group, engaging in hobbies, or practicing mindfulness. By including these coping strategies in their plan, they are better prepared to manage cravings, stress, or difficult emotions that may arise during recovery.

5. Accountability and Monitoring: A well-structured plan includes measurable goals and progress tracking. This accountability helps individuals stay on track and assess their progress over time. Regularly monitoring their actions and achievements allows them to celebrate successes, make necessary adjustments, and identify areas that require more attention.

6. Time Management and Prioritization: Planning helps individuals manage their time effectively and prioritize tasks. By allocating time for recovery-related activities, self-care, work, relationships, and other responsibilities, individuals can create a balanced routine that supports their well-being and minimizes the risk of relapse.

7. Flexibility and Adaptability: While planning provides structure, it’s essential to remain flexible and adaptable. Recovery is a dynamic process, and unforeseen circ*mstances may arise. By incorporating flexibility into the plan, individuals can make adjustments and modifications when necessary without feeling discouraged or defeated.

In summary, “planning it out” involves creating a detailed and structured plan to achieve goals or navigate through challenging situations. Using planning as a coping skill in the context of preventing relapse can provide individuals with a roadmap to recovery, goal clarity, structured approaches, identification of triggers, coping strategies, accountability, time management, and adaptability. By utilizing this skill, individuals can enhance their self-awareness, reduce the risk of relapse, and maintain their overall well-being.


“Identifying the belief” refers to the process of recognizing and becoming aware of one’s core beliefs or underlying assumptions about oneself, others, and the world. Core beliefs are deeply ingrained and often subconscious beliefs that shape our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. They are formed through our past experiences, upbringing, and cultural influences.

Cognitive distortions are thinking patterns that distort reality and contribute to negative emotions and behaviors. They often stem from faulty core beliefs. For example, someone with a core belief that they are unworthy may engage in the cognitive distortion of “discounting the positive,” where they dismiss or downplay their accomplishments or positive attributes.

By identifying the belief behind cognitive distortions, individuals can challenge and re-evaluate their core beliefs, leading to healthier thinking patterns and improved emotional well-being. This process involves:

1. Awareness: Developing mindfulness and self-reflection to identify when cognitive distortions arise and understanding the associated emotions and behaviors.

2. Questioning: Actively questioning the thoughts and assumptions that underlie the cognitive distortions. For example, asking oneself, “What belief is driving this thought?” or “What evidence supports or challenges this belief?”

3. Exploration: Examining the origins and validity of the identified core belief. This may involve reflecting on past experiences, seeking alternative perspectives, or considering evidence that supports or refutes the belief.

4. Reframing: Replacing negative or distorted core beliefs with more realistic, positive, and adaptive ones. This step involves consciously challenging and replacing negative self-talk with affirming and empowering statements.

Utilizing “identifying the belief” as a coping skill can also help prevent relapse in various situations, such as addiction recovery or managing mental health conditions. By recognizing and addressing faulty core beliefs that contribute to negative thoughts and behaviors, individuals can:

1. Enhance self-awareness: Identifying the belief provides insight into the underlying triggers and vulnerabilities that may lead to relapse. By recognizing the core beliefs that contribute to negative thinking patterns or impulsive behaviors, individuals can intervene before they escalate.

2. Develop cognitive flexibility: Challenging and reframing core beliefs helps individuals develop more flexible thinking patterns. This allows them to approach challenging situations or triggers with a more balanced and adaptive mindset, reducing the likelihood of relapse.

3. Strengthen coping strategies: Identifying the belief provides an opportunity to develop and strengthen coping strategies that directly address the underlying core beliefs. This might involve practicing self-compassion, engaging in cognitive restructuring techniques, seeking therapy or support groups, or developing healthy coping mechanisms like exercise or mindfulness.

It’s important to note that challenging core beliefs and addressing cognitive distortions can be a complex and ongoing process. It often benefits from the guidance and support of a mental health professional who can provide specialized techniques and tools tailored to an individual’s specific needs and circ*mstances.


“Rewarding yourself” refers to a practice of acknowledging and celebrating your accomplishments or positive behaviors by providing yourself with incentives or treats. It is commonly used as a positive reinforcement technique and a coping skill to promote healthy habits and prevent relapse in various contexts, such as addiction recovery, behavior change, or goal achievement.

The concept is rooted in the understanding that humans are motivated by rewards and positive experiences. By intentionally rewarding yourself for engaging in desired behaviors or reaching milestones, you create a positive association with those actions. This association strengthens the likelihood of repeating the behavior in the future.

When applied to addiction recovery or preventing relapse, rewarding yourself with healthy rewards can be highly effective. Breaking free from addictive behaviors can be challenging, and it often requires consistent effort and commitment. By setting achievable goals or milestones along the recovery journey and providing yourself with rewards when you reach them, you create a sense of progress and accomplishment. This positive reinforcement enhances motivation and self-esteem, making it easier to sustain recovery efforts and resist the temptation to relapse.

It’s important to note that healthy rewards should align with your goals and values. They can take various forms, such as engaging in enjoyable activities, treating yourself to something you like (e.g., a special meal, a book, a spa day), spending quality time with loved ones, or pursuing hobbies that bring you fulfillment. The key is to choose rewards that are meaningful to you and reinforce the positive behaviors you want to cultivate.

By incorporating rewarding yourself into your coping skills repertoire, you establish a self-care practice that supports your well-being and helps prevent relapse. It provides an additional layer of positive reinforcement, making the journey towards sustainable change or recovery more enjoyable and rewarding.


The concept of “creating new tapes” refers to a technique or practice where individuals record their own voice delivering positive statements, affirmations, or encouraging messages. These recordings are then played back to themselves as a form of positive reinforcement, motivation, inspiration, and a coping skill to help prevent relapse or overcome challenges.

The term “tapes” is metaphorical, originating from the days when audio recordings were commonly made on cassette tapes. However, in modern times, this practice can be achieved using digital recording devices, smartphone apps, or other audio recording tools.

The process typically involves the following steps:

1. Self-reflection and identification of positive statements: Individuals first engage in self-reflection to identify positive thoughts, affirmations, or motivational statements that can help them build self-confidence, reinforce positive behaviors, or overcome negative patterns of thinking.

2. Recording the affirmations: Using a recording device or app, individuals speak their affirmations and positive statements in their own voice. The recordings are personalized and tailored to address specific areas they want to improve or focus on.

3. Listening to the recordings: Individuals play back the recorded affirmations regularly, ideally on a daily basis. By listening to their own voice delivering positive messages, they reinforce positive beliefs about themselves, internalize the affirmations, and cultivate a positive mindset.

4. Positive reinforcement and motivation: The act of listening to the affirmations acts as positive reinforcement, boosting motivation and inspiring individuals to stay focused on their goals. It can counteract negative self-talk, self-doubt, or feelings of discouragement that might contribute to relapse or hinder personal growth.

5. Coping mechanism and prevention of relapse: Creating new tapes can serve as a coping skill to help individuals manage stress, anxiety, or triggers that may lead to relapse in the context of addiction recovery or other challenging situations. By using positive affirmations as a tool, they can shift their mindset, stay resilient, and maintain a healthy perspective.

Creating new tapes is a self-directed practice that empowers individuals to take control of their thoughts and emotions. It combines the power of positive self-talk, auditory reinforcement, and self-reflection to promote personal growth, build self-esteem, and support overall well-being.


“Finding rules to live by” refers to the process of establishing a set of principles, beliefs, values, and schemas that guide an individual’s behavior, decision-making, and overall outlook on life. It involves consciously reflecting on one’s experiences, personal growth, and understanding of oneself and the world to create a framework for living a fulfilling and meaningful life.

As a means of developing new core beliefs, values, and schemas, this process involves self-reflection, introspection, and exploration of different philosophies, ideologies, and perspectives. It requires critically examining existing beliefs and values, questioning their origins and validity, and considering alternative viewpoints. By doing so, individuals can refine their understanding of themselves, their values, and the world around them, leading to the formulation of new core beliefs that align with their evolving identity and aspirations.

“Finding rules to live by” can also serve as a coping skill to help prevent relapse, particularly in the context of addiction or mental health recovery. In this context, it involves establishing a set of principles and guidelines that support healthy behaviors, promote personal growth, and provide a sense of direction and purpose. These rules act as a roadmap for navigating challenges, making positive choices, and avoiding triggers or situations that may lead to relapse.

By consciously developing and adhering to these rules, individuals create a structure that reinforces their commitment to recovery and well-being. This process can include strategies such as setting boundaries, adopting healthy habits, seeking support from a community, practicing self-care, and cultivating resilience. These rules act as a reference point during difficult times, helping individuals stay focused, motivated, and resilient in the face of potential setbacks or temptations.

Overall, “finding rules to live by” involves an ongoing, dynamic process of self-exploration, self-reflection, and adaptation. It allows individuals to develop a solid foundation of beliefs, values, and coping strategies that promote personal growth, resilience, and a fulfilling life while helping to prevent relapse in the face of challenges.


The concept of “setbacks are not failures” refers to the mindset and belief that encountering obstacles or setbacks along the way does not signify a complete failure or defeat. Instead, setbacks are viewed as temporary challenges or learning opportunities that can contribute to personal growth, resilience, and ultimately lead to success.

In the context of developing confidence, embracing the idea that setbacks are not failures allows individuals to maintain a positive and constructive outlook when faced with obstacles. It encourages them to persevere, learn from their experiences, and adapt their strategies accordingly. By reframing setbacks as stepping stones rather than stumbling blocks, individuals can build self-confidence by recognizing their ability to overcome difficulties and continue working towards their goals.

Moreover, this concept serves as a coping skill to help prevent relapse, particularly in situations where individuals are recovering from addiction, mental health issues, or other challenges. When setbacks occur during the recovery process, individuals may be at risk of feeling discouraged or considering themselves as failures, which can increase vulnerability to relapse. However, by understanding that setbacks are a normal part of the journey and do not define their overall progress or worth, individuals can maintain a sense of hope, motivation, and resilience. They can learn from their setbacks, identify triggers or areas that need improvement, and make necessary adjustments to their coping strategies or treatment plans.

By internalizing the belief that setbacks are not failures, individuals can develop a more balanced and compassionate perspective towards themselves. They can avoid self-criticism and negative self-talk, which often contribute to feelings of low self-esteem and self-doubt. Instead, they can focus on their strengths, acknowledge their efforts, and cultivate a growth mindset that allows them to bounce back stronger from setbacks.

It’s important to note that while setbacks are not failures, it’s also crucial to seek support when needed, whether from friends, family, or professionals, to ensure adequate guidance and assistance during challenging times.


Tolerating the feeling is a concept commonly used in distress tolerance skills and coping strategies to prevent relapse and effectively manage challenging emotions or situations. It involves accepting and acknowledging the discomfort or distressing emotions that arise without engaging in impulsive or destructive behaviors. By practicing distress tolerance skills, individuals can develop the ability to endure and navigate through difficult feelings, ultimately preventing relapse into maladaptive coping mechanisms.

Distress tolerance skills are a key component of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), a therapeutic approach designed to help individuals manage intense emotions, self-destructive behaviors, and improve relationships. These skills aim to enhance emotional regulation and prevent impulsive reactions by promoting mindfulness, acceptance, and healthy coping strategies.

When we discuss the phrase “the only way out is through,” it emphasizes the importance of confronting and processing difficult emotions or situations rather than avoiding or suppressing them. It implies that the path to resolution, personal growth, and healing involves acknowledging and experiencing the discomfort rather than running away from it.

This concept aligns with distress tolerance skills as it encourages individuals to develop resilience and the ability to face distress head-on. Instead of seeking immediate relief through harmful behaviors, such as substance abuse or self-harm, individuals are encouraged to tolerate the temporary discomfort, process the underlying emotions, and explore healthier coping mechanisms.

By tolerating the feeling and applying distress tolerance skills, individuals can effectively manage distressing emotions, reduce the likelihood of relapse, and promote long-term recovery. These skills may include:

1. Mindfulness: Practicing present-moment awareness and non-judgmental observation of thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations.

2. Grounding Techniques: Engaging the senses to bring attention to the present moment and create a sense of stability. Examples include focusing on the breath, identifying specific objects or sounds in the environment, or using tactile objects.

3. Self-Soothing: Engaging in activities that provide comfort and promote relaxation, such as taking a warm bath, listening to calming music, or practicing self-care.

4. Distraction: Shifting focus away from distressing thoughts or emotions by engaging in activities that capture attention, such as reading, exercising, or pursuing hobbies.

5. Radical Acceptance: Acknowledging and accepting reality as it is, without judgment or attempts to change it. This involves recognizing that some situations or emotions are beyond immediate control.

6. Emotional Regulation: Learning skills to effectively manage and modulate emotions, such as identifying and labeling emotions, utilizing breathing exercises, or engaging in activities that promote emotional well-being.

By incorporating these skills into their coping repertoire, individuals can build resilience, prevent relapse, and work towards lasting recovery by gradually navigating through challenging emotions and situations instead of avoiding or suppressing them.


The concept of “actions first, feelings will follow” is a coping skill that emphasizes the importance of taking positive and healthy actions even when one doesn’t feel motivated or in a positive emotional state. It suggests that by engaging in adaptive behaviors and actions, individuals can influence and improve their emotions and overall well-being.

In the context of preventing relapse, this coping skill can be particularly valuable for individuals struggling with addiction or mental health issues. When faced with triggers, cravings, or negative emotions that may increase the risk of relapse, the principle of “actions first, feelings will follow” encourages individuals to focus on taking constructive actions rather than waiting for their emotions to change on their own.

Here’s how this coping skill can be applied:

1. Commitment to healthy habits: Engage in activities that support recovery and well-being, such as attending support group meetings, exercising regularly, practicing mindfulness or meditation, maintaining a balanced diet, and getting enough sleep. Even if motivation or positive feelings are lacking, sticking to these habits can help prevent relapse.

2. Establish a routine: Create a structured daily schedule that includes meaningful and purposeful activities. By following a routine, individuals can minimize idle time and decrease the likelihood of engaging in impulsive or harmful behaviors.

3. Practice self-care: Focus on self-care activities, including activities that bring joy, relaxation, or personal fulfillment. Engaging in hobbies, spending time with loved ones, engaging in creative outlets, or taking breaks to recharge can positively impact one’s mood and well-being.

4. Seek social support: Reach out to a support system, whether it’s friends, family, or a support group, when experiencing difficult emotions or urges. Sharing concerns, seeking advice, or simply connecting with others who understand can provide encouragement and perspective.

5. Challenge negative thinking: Recognize and challenge negative thoughts or beliefs that may contribute to relapse. Cognitive-behavioral techniques such as reframing negative thoughts, practicing gratitude, or using positive affirmations can help shift one’s mindset and improve emotional well-being.

6. Focus on small, achievable goals: Set realistic and attainable goals that align with recovery and personal growth. By accomplishing small tasks, individuals can experience a sense of accomplishment and boost their self-confidence, which can positively influence their emotional state.

7. Practice acceptance and mindfulness: Acknowledge and accept the present moment, including difficult emotions or cravings, without judgment. Cultivating mindfulness skills can help individuals observe their experiences without getting overwhelmed and enable them to respond to triggers or challenging situations in a more adaptive way.

By consistently applying the “actions first, feelings will follow” coping skill, individuals can build resilience, strengthen their recovery, and reduce the risk of relapse. However, it’s important to note that this approach should complement professional guidance and support, as each person’s situation is unique, and a comprehensive relapse prevention plan may require individualized strategies and therapeutic interventions.


The concept of “creating positive addictions” as a coping skill to help prevent relapse refers to developing healthy and constructive habits or activities to replace addictive behaviors. When someone is recovering from addiction, they may experience cravings or triggers that can increase the risk of relapse. By consciously redirecting their energy and focus toward positive activities, individuals can replace their previous addictive behaviors with healthier alternatives.

Creating positive addictions involves engaging in activities that provide a sense of fulfillment, purpose, and pleasure, while also promoting overall well-being. These activities should be sustainable, enjoyable, and contribute positively to one’s life. Examples of positive addictions can vary depending on individual preferences, but they often include activities such as exercise, hobbies, mindfulness practices, creative outlets, volunteering, or learning new skills.

The underlying principle of creating positive addictions is that by replacing destructive behaviors with positive ones, individuals can rewire their brain’s reward system and develop healthier coping mechanisms. Engaging in these activities can help individuals manage stress, regulate emotions, improve self-esteem, and increase feelings of accomplishment and satisfaction.

It is important to note that creating positive addictions alone may not be sufficient for addiction recovery. It is often recommended to combine this coping skill with other strategies such as therapy, support groups, and professional guidance. Additionally, each person’s recovery journey is unique, and what works for one individual may not work for another. Therefore, it is crucial to tailor coping strategies to personal preferences and needs, seeking professional advice when necessary.


“When in doubt, don’t” is a coping skill commonly used in addiction recovery to help prevent relapse. It essentially means that when you find yourself uncertain or unsure about a situation or decision that could potentially jeopardize your recovery, it’s best to err on the side of caution and abstain from engaging in that behavior.

Here’s a breakdown of the concept and its application as a coping skill:

1. Acknowledge doubt: “When in doubt” implies that you recognize the presence of uncertainty or hesitation within yourself. This doubt may arise when you encounter situations, triggers, or choices that could potentially lead to relapse.

2. Exercise caution: “Don’t” suggests that when faced with doubt, it’s better to avoid taking action rather than taking unnecessary risks. This cautionary approach helps safeguard your recovery and prevents potential harm.

3. Prioritize recovery: The underlying principle is to prioritize your well-being and long-term recovery over immediate gratification or impulsive decisions. By adhering to the “when in doubt, don’t” mindset, you prioritize maintaining your sobriety and overall mental and physical health.

4. Seek support: When doubt arises, it’s crucial to reach out for support. This can include talking to a sponsor, attending support group meetings, seeking guidance from a therapist, or connecting with friends or loved ones who understand your journey. Seeking support provides perspective, guidance, and encouragement during moments of uncertainty.

5. Reflect and evaluate: “When in doubt, don’t” allows you the opportunity to pause, reflect, and evaluate the potential consequences of your choices. It encourages you to consider the impact of your actions on your recovery and helps you make more informed decisions.

By embracing the “when in doubt, don’t” approach as a coping skill, individuals in recovery gain a valuable tool to navigate challenging situations and minimize the risk of relapse. It promotes self-awareness, caution, and the utilization of support networks, ultimately supporting a healthier and more sustainable recovery journey.


“Fight the trigger” is a coping skill commonly used in the context of addiction recovery to help individuals prevent relapse. It refers to the practice of actively engaging in strategies and behaviors aimed at resisting or overcoming the urges, cravings, or triggers that could potentially lead to a relapse.

Triggers can be any external or internal cues that remind an individual of their addictive behavior, such as people, places, emotions, or specific situations associated with substance use or addictive behaviors. These triggers can provoke intense cravings and temptations, making it challenging to maintain abstinence.

When employing the “fight the trigger” coping skill, individuals typically employ several techniques to manage and resist the triggers, including:

1. Self-awareness: Developing an understanding of personal triggers and recognizing the early signs of cravings or urges. This awareness allows individuals to prepare and respond proactively.

2. Developing coping strategies: Learning and practicing various coping mechanisms to manage cravings and triggers effectively. These strategies may include deep breathing exercises, mindfulness techniques, engaging in distracting activities, or using positive affirmations.

3. Creating a support network: Surrounding oneself with a supportive and understanding network of friends, family, or fellow individuals in recovery. This network can offer encouragement, understanding, and accountability during challenging times.

4. Implementing lifestyle changes: Making positive changes in one’s daily routine, environment, and habits. This may involve avoiding triggering situations, adopting healthier habits, engaging in regular physical exercise, or finding new hobbies and interests.

5. Seeking professional help: Utilizing the guidance and support of addiction counselors, therapists, or support groups. These professionals can provide personalized strategies, insights, and guidance to navigate triggers and prevent relapse.

By “fighting the trigger,” individuals actively work to resist the immediate gratification of relapse and instead focus on their long-term goals of maintaining sobriety or abstaining from addictive behaviors. It requires dedication, persistence, and a commitment to self-care and personal growth.


“Considering the source” is a concept that can be applied as a listening skill, critical thinking skill, and coping skill, particularly in the context of preventing relapse. It involves evaluating and critically assessing the credibility, reliability, and relevance of information or influences coming from various sources. Here’s how it can be understood and applied in each of these contexts:

1. Listening Skill: As a listening skill, “considering the source” refers to actively analyzing and assessing the speaker or information provider. It involves being attentive to who is communicating, their expertise, biases, motivations, and the context in which they are speaking. By considering the source, listeners can evaluate the reliability and credibility of the information they receive, making informed judgments about its validity and relevance.

2. Critical Thinking Skill: In the realm of critical thinking, “considering the source” emphasizes the importance of critically analyzing and questioning the origin and credibility of information. It involves evaluating the qualifications, expertise, and potential biases of the source before accepting or rejecting their claims. By scrutinizing the source, critical thinkers can make more reasoned and informed judgments, avoiding the pitfalls of fallacious reasoning or accepting information without due skepticism.

3. Coping Skill to Prevent Relapse: In the context of preventing relapse, “considering the source” can be a valuable coping skill. It involves being mindful of the influences, triggers, or situations that may pose a risk to one’s recovery. By considering the source of these potential triggers or influences, individuals can better evaluate their impact and make conscious choices about how to respond. This skill can help individuals identify and avoid situations, people, or stimuli that may undermine their recovery, thus reducing the risk of relapse.

By applying the concept of “considering the source” as a listening skill, critical thinking skill, and coping skill, individuals can become more discerning, informed, and resilient in their decision-making processes, while also protecting their well-being and recovery journey.


“Making a decision” refers to the process of selecting one option or course of action from among several alternatives. It involves the use of decision-making and problem-solving skills to assess the available choices, consider the potential outcomes, and ultimately make a choice that aligns with one’s goals, values, and circ*mstances.

From the perspective of decision-making and problem-solving skills, making a decision involves several steps:

1. Identifying the problem: Clearly defining the issue or situation that requires a decision. This step involves understanding the underlying challenge or goal that needs to be addressed.

2. Gathering information: Acquiring relevant information and facts about the problem or decision at hand. This may involve research, seeking advice, consulting experts, or considering past experiences.

3. Generating alternatives: Brainstorming and generating a range of possible solutions or choices. This step encourages creativity and thinking outside the box to explore various options.

4. Evaluating alternatives: Assessing the pros and cons of each alternative, considering their feasibility, potential outcomes, and impact. This step involves weighing the advantages and disadvantages of each option.

5. Making a choice: Selecting the most appropriate alternative based on the evaluation process. This decision should align with one’s values, priorities, and desired outcomes.

6. Implementing the decision: Putting the chosen alternative into action. This step involves planning and executing the necessary steps to bring the decision to fruition.

7. Evaluating the results: Assessing the outcomes and consequences of the decision. This step allows for reflection and learning, which can inform future decision-making processes.

In the context of coping skills to prevent relapse, making a decision can be a valuable tool. People in recovery from addiction, for example, often face situations where they need to make choices that support their sobriety and well-being. By employing effective decision-making skills, individuals can:

1. Assess risks and consequences: Evaluate the potential risks and negative outcomes associated with specific choices, such as engaging in substance use. This can help individuals recognize the potential harm and make informed decisions to avoid relapse.

2. Identify triggers and temptations: Recognize situations, environments, or people that may act as triggers for relapse. Decision-making skills can aid in identifying these triggers and making choices to avoid or mitigate their impact.

3. Set boundaries and priorities: Establish clear boundaries and priorities aligned with recovery goals. Making decisions that prioritize sobriety and well-being over potentially harmful choices can strengthen coping skills and prevent relapse.

4. Seek support and advice: Utilize decision-making skills to seek support from peers, mentors, or professionals when facing challenging situations or dilemmas. Consulting others can provide additional perspectives and insights to inform decision-making.

5. Plan for contingencies: Anticipate and plan for potential obstacles or setbacks in recovery. Decision-making skills help individuals consider alternative options and develop contingency plans to prevent relapse when facing unexpected challenges.

By incorporating decision-making and problem-solving skills into the process of preventing relapse, individuals can empower themselves to make choices that support their recovery journey and promote overall well-being.


The concept of “doing the right thing” involves aligning your beliefs, values, ethics, principles, and morals with your thoughts, speech, decisions, and actions. It implies making choices and taking actions that are in accordance with what you perceive to be morally or ethically right. This concept serves as a guiding principle for individuals to navigate their lives in a manner consistent with their personal convictions and principles.

Aligning one’s beliefs and values with their thoughts, speech, decisions, and actions is essential for maintaining integrity and authenticity. When there is a disconnect between what one believes and how they behave, it can lead to cognitive dissonance and inner conflict. By consciously striving to do the right thing, individuals can achieve a sense of harmony within themselves and live in alignment with their core values.

In the context of preventing relapse, doing the right thing can be a valuable coping skill. For individuals recovering from addiction or other harmful behaviors, aligning their thoughts, speech, decisions, and actions with their values and principles is crucial. It helps them stay on the path of recovery and resist the temptation to engage in behaviors that may lead to relapse.

A secular approach to the concept of doing the right thing is important for several reasons. First, secularism recognizes and respects diverse belief systems and ensures that ethical considerations are not solely dependent on religious or supernatural frameworks. It allows individuals from different backgrounds and perspectives to engage in discussions about morality and ethics based on shared human values.

Second, a secular approach promotes critical thinking and personal autonomy. It encourages individuals to examine their beliefs and values, and make decisions based on rationality, evidence, and empathy. This empowers individuals to take responsibility for their actions and choices, rather than relying solely on external religious or dogmatic authority.

Furthermore, a secular approach to doing the right thing fosters inclusivity and avoids discrimination. It recognizes that moral values and ethical principles can be derived from a variety of sources, including philosophical frameworks, cultural norms, and societal consensus. This allows for a more inclusive dialogue that respects the diversity of perspectives and avoids privileging any particular religious or ideological stance.

Finally, taking a secular approach to doing the right thing helps build a moral framework that is accessible and applicable to all individuals, regardless of their religious beliefs or lack thereof. It encourages people to reflect on the consequences of their actions and consider the well-being of others. By focusing on the shared values and principles that promote human flourishing, a secular approach to ethics can contribute to a more compassionate and just society.


“Take away the message, from the messenger, not the mess. The message and lesson may come from the person you least expect it.”

“Going to a meeting” refers to actively participating in a gathering or group session organized for the purpose of receiving support, recovery education, mutual self-help, behavior change, and as a coping skill to help prevent relapse. These meetings are typically conducted within the context of support groups, such as those focused on addiction recovery, mental health, or specific life challenges.

1. Support: Meetings provide a supportive environment where individuals facing similar struggles or challenges come together to share their experiences, emotions, and insights. By attending these meetings, individuals can receive encouragement, empathy, and understanding from others who have gone through or are going through similar situations.

2. Recovery Education: Meetings often include educational components where participants learn about various aspects of their condition, addiction, or mental health challenges. Through presentations, discussions, and guest speakers, attendees gain knowledge about the nature of their difficulties, potential triggers, and effective strategies for recovery.

3. Mutual Self-Help: The essence of meetings lies in the concept of mutual self-help, where individuals contribute to each other’s healing and growth. Participants actively engage in sharing their personal stories, insights, and coping mechanisms, providing a platform for collective wisdom and peer support.

4. Behavior Change: Meetings can serve as catalysts for behavior change by offering a space for individuals to examine their thoughts, emotions, and actions. By sharing personal experiences and listening to others, attendees can gain new perspectives, insights, and strategies to modify unhelpful behaviors and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

5. Coping Skill to Prevent Relapse: Attending meetings can be a vital coping skill to prevent relapse, particularly in the context of addiction recovery. The supportive and understanding environment, combined with the sharing of relapse prevention strategies, can provide individuals with the tools and motivation necessary to maintain their recovery journey and avoid returning to harmful behaviors.


The concept of “practicing safe sex or abstinence” as a coping skill to help prevent relapse refers to the deliberate choice to engage in sexual activities in a responsible manner or abstain from sexual activities altogether as a means of maintaining one’s recovery from addiction or harmful behaviors.

In the context of addiction recovery, individuals may develop coping skills to manage triggers and avoid relapse. Engaging in sexual activities can be a trigger for some individuals, particularly if it was associated with their addictive behaviors in the past. Therefore, adopting safe sex practices or choosing abstinence can be a valuable coping strategy to minimize the risk of relapse.

Practicing safe sex involves taking precautions to protect oneself and others from sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unintended pregnancies. This typically includes using barrier methods like condoms, dental dams, or other forms of contraception. Safe sex practices can help individuals maintain their physical health and reduce the potential negative consequences of sexual activities, allowing them to focus on their recovery without additional stress or worries.

On the other hand, abstinence refers to refraining from any sexual activities, including intercourse or other forms of sexual contact. Abstinence can be a personal choice made for various reasons, including religious, moral, or health considerations. In the context of addiction recovery, abstinence from sexual activities may be a deliberate decision to minimize potential triggers or compulsive behaviors associated with sex.

By incorporating safe sex practices or choosing abstinence, individuals in addiction recovery can create boundaries and prioritize their overall well-being. These strategies help reduce the risk of relapse by avoiding potential triggers, managing stress, and maintaining focus on their recovery journey. It is important for individuals to determine what approach aligns best with their personal values, goals, and recovery plan, and to seek guidance from healthcare professionals or support groups when needed.


“Prioritizing healing” as a coping skill refers to a deliberate and proactive approach to focus on self-care, personal growth, and emotional well-being as a means to prevent relapse in the context of recovery from addiction or mental health challenges. It involves recognizing the importance of ongoing healing and making it a top priority in one’s life.

When someone prioritizes healing, they consciously make choices and take actions that support their physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. This may include engaging in activities that promote self-reflection, self-care, and personal development. It involves adopting healthy coping mechanisms, establishing boundaries, practicing mindfulness or meditation, seeking support from a therapist or support groups, and nurturing positive relationships.

By prioritizing healing, individuals actively work on addressing underlying issues, traumas, and triggers that contributed to their addiction or mental health struggles. It entails being aware of warning signs or red flags that may indicate potential relapse and taking proactive steps to prevent it. This may involve developing and implementing relapse prevention strategies, such as creating a support network, identifying and avoiding triggers, and developing healthy coping mechanisms.

Additionally, prioritizing healing involves maintaining a consistent self-care routine that encompasses various aspects of well-being, including physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects. It means recognizing that self-care is not selfish but rather a vital component of maintaining long-term recovery and overall well-being.


Connecting to community resources refers to the process of seeking and utilizing various support systems, services, and networks within one’s local community to obtain assistance, guidance, and resources. This approach aims to address specific needs, such as support during challenging times, access to professional services, building peer relationships, and developing coping skills to prevent relapse in various contexts, including mental health, addiction recovery, and other areas of personal growth.

1. Support: Connecting to community resources involves reaching out to organizations, groups, or individuals who provide emotional, practical, or informational support. This may include helplines, support groups, counseling centers, or community centers that offer assistance and understanding for specific issues or challenges.

2. Professional services: It involves accessing and utilizing professional services available within the community. This may include seeking help from therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, or other healthcare professionals who specialize in specific areas of need. These professionals can provide guidance, treatment, and interventions tailored to individual circ*mstances.

3. Peer support networks: Connecting to community resources often involves joining peer support networks or groups. These networks are composed of individuals who have faced similar challenges or experiences and provide mutual understanding, empathy, and encouragement. Peer support networks can be found in various contexts, such as recovery groups, self-help groups, or community organizations focused on specific issues.

4. Coping skills: Community resources offer opportunities to learn and develop coping skills necessary for preventing relapse and maintaining well-being. These resources may include workshops, educational programs, or training sessions that teach individuals strategies for managing stress, emotions, triggers, and other factors that may contribute to relapse. Learning and implementing effective coping skills can enhance resilience and provide individuals with healthier ways of dealing with difficulties.


“Seeking support from others” refers to the intentional act of reaching out to individuals or communities for various purposes, such as developing connections, fostering a sense of belonging, and utilizing coping skills to prevent relapse. It involves actively seeking assistance, guidance, empathy, or understanding from others in order to address personal challenges, enhance well-being, and promote personal growth.

As a means of developing connection, seeking support from others involves recognizing the importance of social interactions and relationships in our lives. It entails actively engaging with others, sharing experiences, thoughts, and emotions, and building meaningful connections. By seeking support, individuals create opportunities to bond with others, fostering a sense of community, empathy, and understanding.

Seeking support also plays a crucial role in cultivating a sense of belonging. Humans have an innate need to belong and feel accepted by others. By seeking support, individuals actively acknowledge their vulnerability and recognize that they are not alone in their struggles. It allows them to find like-minded individuals or groups who can provide validation, acceptance, and a sense of shared experiences, ultimately promoting a greater sense of belonging.

Moreover, seeking support from others serves as a coping skill to help prevent relapse. This is particularly relevant in contexts such as addiction recovery or mental health management. By reaching out to supportive individuals or communities, individuals can receive emotional support, practical advice, and accountability to help them navigate challenging situations and cope with stressors. This type of support can be instrumental in preventing relapse by offering alternative perspectives, coping strategies, and a safe space for individuals to express their concerns, fears, and challenges.


“Noticing what you can control” is a concept that involves developing a mindful awareness of the aspects of your life and experiences that you have the ability to influence or change. It is a valuable approach for cultivating assertiveness, practicing radical acceptance, and as a coping skill to help prevent relapse in various areas of life.

1. Assertiveness: Assertiveness is the ability to express oneself confidently, honestly, and respectfully while advocating for one’s needs and boundaries. By noticing what you can control, you focus on identifying and understanding the areas where you have the power to take action. This empowers you to assertively communicate your desires, opinions, and boundaries to others, ensuring that your needs are met and your rights are respected. Instead of feeling helpless or passive, you proactively take charge of your life.

2. Radical acceptance: Radical acceptance involves fully acknowledging and embracing reality as it is, without judgment or resistance. By noticing what you can control, you develop the ability to discern between what is within your sphere of influence and what is beyond it. This enables you to accept the things that you cannot change, such as past events, other people’s behavior, or external circ*mstances. Instead of wasting energy on futile efforts to control the uncontrollable, you shift your focus towards accepting these aspects of life and directing your efforts towards what you can control.

3. Coping skill and relapse prevention: Noticing what you can control serves as a powerful coping skill to manage stress, emotions, and challenging situations. When facing triggers or cravings that may lead to relapse, you can redirect your attention to the aspects of the situation that you have control over. This might include practicing self-care activities, seeking support from a trusted friend or therapist, engaging in healthy coping mechanisms, or modifying your environment to reduce temptation. By identifying and utilizing the factors that are within your control, you enhance your ability to make positive choices, resist harmful behaviors, and maintain your well-being.

Seeking Safety Coping Skills, (2024)
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